Supportive Husband and Pregnancy Stress – Gratitude Project Day 8

This morning, there is absolutely no doubt in my mind that I have reason to be grateful for my wonderful, supportive husband.  I was pretty freaked out and upset about not being able to get a midwife.  I was certain that I was going to end up with a repeat cesarean, whether I want one or not.  And, yeah, there were more than a few tears.  This is one of those times that I was so very grateful for having a supportive husband.  You see, my husband’s first inclination whenever something has me that upset is to fix it.  He loves me.  He wants to make everything better.

It was with heavy heart (and raging fury) that I called my family doctor for an appointment to get another referral.  Hopefully this time to a doctor who won’t waste my time, otherwise I’m not going to actually have any freaking prenatal care at this rate.  I’ll show up at the hospital and a resident will have to catch or something.  (Okay, I’m still pretty mad about this shenanigans.)

When the husband came home from work, he tried to fix everything.  The one thing that he could do was go to Taco Bell and get me the vaguely defined food product that I wanted.  I couldn’t remember much about it beyond it was some sort of chicken burrito and it had rice.  I hate Taco Bell and hadn’t eaten it in over ten years.  He came back with what I wanted, and even took the liberty of ordering it without tomatoes.  (I hate tomatoes.)

And then we talked about things that were bothering me.

I found it so very strange that I was freaking out over potentially not having a VBAC delivery.  Why was this so very important to me now, when I’d never given much thought to it before?  Why am I fighting for this option now, after only a few days of considering it?  Especially since vaginal childbirth scares the Hell out of me?  (By the way, special thanks to the hospital in Dade City, Florida… which was then known as Humana of Pasco… for making childbirth as traumatic for me as possible.)

And then I realized why I was so angry about how these things were going.  My choices were being taken away.  Without a midwife, there is absolutely no way that I can have a home birth or a water birth.  Those options are automatically off the table.  My hospital has a 22% VBAC delivery success rate.  I don’t know if that’s because there are some doctors (like Dr. T) who won’t even touch you if you want to attempt a VBAC delivery or if some women decide to forgo the VBAC altogether in favor of a repeat cesarean.

I decided that if I’m not going to be part of the 22%, it’s because there had better be some sort of demonstrated medical reason.  As in, one of us had better be at risk of death.  And you know why I’m so grateful for my supportive husband?  He told me that it’s my decision and he understood.  He also told me that he didn’t want me to feel like I had to do a VBAC for his benefit.

I love that man, and he really does complete my life.

What are you grateful for today?

About Suzi

Suzi is an American ex-pat living in British Columbia. She's a cloth diaper addict, wife, mom of three, and President of the Prince George chapter of Cloth for a Cause.

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  1. […] childbirth, I knew that I would never have a baby without an epidural.  But now?  I’m bound and determined to have a VBAC delivery.  It was the husband’s idea, but I’m running with it.  Since […]

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