Keeping Toddler Trust

There are times when my little boy amazes me.  Okay, at least once a day, I look in awe at this amazing little guy and am filled with love.  Occasionally I almost get teary over it.  Today, though, I had this wonderfully profound moment based on thoughts of toddler trust.

I have days when I think I’m failing at being a mom and I beat myself up.  I have days when I realize that I’m doing the best that I can at being a mom, and I’m the best mom for my children because I’m theirs.  And then there’s this other kind of validation that I get from toddler behavior, and it’s just magical.

It’s okay to put his face right up in the camera. Mom is holding it, so nothing bad can happen. (Just ask Norton.)

Norton fights a diaper change like the devil on some days, but after we’re done, he stands up and practically leaps into my arms.  I’m not all that big of a person, so there are times that he can very nearly knock me over.  In spite of that, when he launches himself at me, I brace myself for impact and always catch.

When he did that today, it dawned on me: Norton only does this because he trusts that I will always be there to catch him.  I will catch him and keep him safe or die trying.

There are times that I get angry with him and frustrated with him, even though it’s typical toddler behavior.  He’s defiant and obstinate at times because he’s a two year old boy who is establishing his own independence.  He resists naptime at times because there’s too much living to do and sleeping seems like a waste.

But none of that matters.  He’s my little boy and there’s nothing that I won’t do to keep him safe.  That toddler trust is very, very special to me and I’ll never, ever lose it.  Or at least, I’ll do my best to make sure that my little boy always knows that he can trust his mother to do her best to keep him safe.

I don’t know, I guess what it comes down to is I’m not a super mom.  But I’m his mom.  That’s what matters.

About Suzi

Suzi is an American ex-pat living in British Columbia. She's a cloth diaper addict, wife, mom of three, and President of the Prince George chapter of Cloth for a Cause.

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