Packing Away Baby Gear Makes a Sad Mommy

We have an abundance of baby gear. Some baby gear has hardly been used, not by Norton or by Eudora. The pack n play is folded up and stored in the closet under the stairs. It was used maybe a dozen times. The matching stroller is also under the stairs. In fact, the only piece of matching baby gear that’s still in use is the car seat.

Even the baby swing is gone.

Two weeks ago, I made the decision to pack away the swing frame. Eudora hadn’t used it in over a week, and when I did try to put her in it, she’d cry and do her best to toss and turn and hurl herself to the floor. She was clearly over the whole baby swing thing. It was best to retire it and move on.

I felt a twinge of sadness when the husband took the swing frame apart and put it away with the other baby gear. That was it. That was the last time ever that I’d have a tiny baby in the swing.

When Norton was tiny, I always thought that other moms were being silly when they bemoaned the growth of their babies or sobbed over infant milestones.  Any time we packed something away because he’d moved beyond it, I was okay with it because I was looking forward to the next adventure.  Now I get it. Eudora is the last baby we’ll ever have. I had my tubes tied when Eudora was born via cesarean. (I still, however, think it’s insane to want their babies “back inside” them “where it’s safe.”. I’m glad she’s out, thank you very much, and she can stay out.)

I will never again have a little tiny baby sleeping blissfully in the baby swing. The next time I have someone that tiny in my arms again on a regular basis will be when my babies start having babies of their own. And since Andy is not quite 15, I’m hoping that won’t start happening for another ten to fifteen years.

I’m not regretting our decision to make “no more babies” a permanent thing. We have three children, and two of them are quite tiny and living with us. It was the right thing to do. Any further children would require a bigger house than we could comfortably afford. Any further children would require more patience than I could possibly spare. It’s the right thing for our family. I don’t have any deep feeling that someone was missing like I did before Eudora was born.

Knowing that it’s the right thing, of course, doesn’t make those little twinges of sadness go away.  How do you

About Suzi

Suzi is an American ex-pat living in British Columbia. She's a cloth diaper addict, wife, mom of three, and President of the Prince George chapter of Cloth for a Cause.

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