Babies Cry – A Newsflash

I was perusing my Facebook feed this morning before I got out of bed.  It’s something that I often do while I get ready to face the day.  I came across a bit in my newsfeed about Heather at The Parenting Patch putting her daughter in her crib for a timeout.  Obviously, Poppy’s response was tears.  This shouldn’t be a surprise.  After all, babies cry.

Babies Cry - A Newsflash (Cloth Diaper Addicts)

Yup, sometimes babies cry. (Granted, this is a toddler, but the point still stands.)

For the record, Poppy is thirteen months old.  While Heather doesn’t actually call it attachment parenting, a lot of what she does fits under the attachment parenting paradigm.  She doesn’t do it because she’s decided to wholeheartedly embrace the words from Dr. Sears’ The Baby Book.  She does it because it works for them.  And that’s awesome.

When Heather shared this on her Parenting Patch Facebook page, she stated point-blank that she’s not a fan of cry it out.

Then the dog-piling began.

People who aren’t there are telling her that she’s obviously a fan of cry it out because it’s what she’s doing, blah blah blah.  Oh, and she’s traumatizing her daughter.  That poor baby is crying because she’s alone and scared, etc.

I have to point out the obvious here.

Babies Cry.

Or, more to the point,

Babies cry for a variety of reasons.

A baby doesn’t cry just because she’s alone and scared.  Babies may cry because they are wet.  Babies may cry because they are hungry.

Oh, and here’s another big one that needs big letters.

Sometimes babies cry because they are mad.

When I take something from my ten month old daughter, she’s not crying because she’s alone and scared.  She’s crying because she’s mad.  She was having fun with some forbidden object, and I took her fun away.  I’m not traumatizing my daughter because I won’t let her eat the cord to the vacuum cleaner.  Likewise, Heather didn’t traumatize her daughter by not allowing her to bounce all over the bed when they were lying down together.  She set boundaries.

The simple fact of the matter is…

Anything Can Be Bad Without Balance

If you run to your toddler at every whimper, you’re denying yourself a chance to breathe and your child a chance to figure it out.  If you never run to your child over the sound of a baby crying, then you’ll end up neglecting your baby’s needs.  There’s a line that falls somewhere in the middle for a balanced approach.  The trick is knowing where that line is for you and your child.

How do you handle it when your babies cry?

About Suzi

Suzi is an American ex-pat living in British Columbia. She's a cloth diaper addict, wife, mom of three, and President of the Prince George chapter of Cloth for a Cause.

Comments

  1. This post is awesome. To the point and eloquently put.

  2. This post is awesome. To the point and eloquently put.

  3. Well said! I hated when I had a newborn and everyone assumed that crying meant hungry. Not always true! It was frustrating! It is a normal part of the process for a child/toddler to need to release some energy through crying. Just like it’s normal for me as a woman to “need a good cry.” It doesn’t mean I’m depressed or have a terrible marriage. It’s just how I work. I think the worst part about the whole post on Heather’s page was some of the comments she received. If you don’t disagree, why can’t you keep it to yourself? And if you’re seriously concerned about someone’s parenting, why can’t you point them in the direction of something with love? Do we have to bash and say such hateful things?

    • Of course we can’t! It’s much better to just tell a woman that she’s a terrible mother who is doing unimaginable damage to her child than to ever suggest something helpful.

  4. Catherine Palumbos says:

    I am really glad you wrote about this. I read her post and people’s response to it and I was stewing inside for quite awhile about how judgemental other mothers are. Motherhood is hard enough without people jumping down your throat about the decisions that we make. Why can’t we all try to be a little little more supportive to each other instead of adding to guilt that comes with being a mother?

    • I suspect that some people like to criticize others in order to make themselves feel better about their own shortcomings. That’s the only thing that I can come up with, anyway.

  5. THANK YOU! I am SO glad I’m not the only one who feels this way! You put it into better words than I could. lol

  6. Steph M says:

    I think a lot of women personalize their choices too much. Like, their parenting style is *who they are*, not behaviours or beliefs (Eg., “attachment parents” rather than “attachment parenting”–big difference. I’d use the opposite side but I don’t know if there’s a term). And so when someone chooses a different route, they take that as a judgment on them as a person and not as, “Oh. Someone made a different choice than me. I wouldn’t do it that way, but she loves her child so it’s none of my business.” So they get defensive because to them, someone’s different choice is an attack on their very identity. That’s my take anyway and I’ll keep thinking it, because otherwise it just means there are a lot of batty ladies out there.

    • I think you’re right. It seems that there’s a perception that “If she does things differently than me, she must think that how I do things is wrong.” But whatever. People are different. Their children are different. Heck, I have to do things differently between my children because they don’t respond equally to the same things… because they are different.

  7. I feel like I vaguely remember reading about “purple crying” at some point. Maybe on Pregnant Chicken? It was all about how there are criteria that you can tell when your baby is just crying to cry — when you’ve done everything you can to try and soothe them or meet their needs, and they still just won’t stop. It happens! Mommas need to take a deep breath and sometimes let them wail for a little bit to keep their own sanity, which is better in the long run.

  8. Samantha M. says:

    my daughter has been crying because she is mad a lot lately.

Trackbacks

  1. […] babies cry is a fact of life for parents, as Enyo over at Motherhood Looms so aptly explains. Babies cry. Babies cry for a variety of reasons. Babies sometimes even cry when […]

  2. […] babies cry is a fact of life for parents, as Enyo over at Motherhood Looms so aptly explains. Babies cry. Babies cry for a variety of reasons. Babies sometimes even cry when […]

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