Your Birth Plan Is None of My Business

Interesting things show up on my Facebook feed from time to time, often courtesy of Heather over at The Parenting Patch.  She shared an article regarding the American Academy of Pediatrics’ new wording regarding home births.  Really, having a home birth in mind is just part of your birth plan that takes more planning than… say, deciding that you want soft music at the hospital.

Heather loves to cite statistics that back her reasoning for having a home birth with her daughter.  (Okay, Heather loves statistics in general.  But that’s cool; statistics are extremely useful when making a point.)  However, I’ve come to a conclusion regarding the writing of a birth plan.  Statistics to defend or convince others about your birth plan are unimportant.

Your Birth Plan Is None of My Business (Motherhood Looms)

Does it matter how she got here, as long as it was a positive outcome?

There’s a very simple reason as to why: your birth plan is absolutely none of my business.

It doesn’t matter if you want to have a hospital birth, epidurals, and as drugged up as a birth as hospital policies will allow or if you want to give birth under an oak tree in the woods with a circle of women dancing and chanting around you, then catch the baby yourself and feed the placenta to a passing wolf.  Whatever.  It’s entirely up to you.

It’s your birth plan.  It’s your body.  It’s your baby.

There are times, of course, when I think that someone’s birth plan may be a little outlandish.  That being said, it does not matter.  It falls squarely in the category of things in life that are not my business.  If you ask “what do  you think about my birth plan?” and you’ve decided that you want to… oh, I don’t know, cut the umbillical cord yourself with a sharpened rock in the woods, I will tell you why I don’t think it’s a good idea.  But if you don’t ask about my opinion on any aspect of your birth plan, who am I to tell you that it sucks?

What kind of reactions did you receive on your birth plan?

About Suzi

Suzi is an American ex-pat living in British Columbia. She's a cloth diaper addict, wife, mom of three, and President of the Prince George chapter of Cloth for a Cause.

Comments

  1. I do love statistics 🙂

    More importantly, it is no one in the medical community’s business about where you choose to give birth. Instead, the medical community should be there to help you, not judge you for not following the mainstream or whatever.

  2. I do love statistics 🙂

    More importantly, it is no one in the medical community’s business about where you choose to give birth. Instead, the medical community should be there to help you, not judge you for not following the mainstream or whatever.

  3. So very true. It is only the business of those giving birth.

  4. So very true. It is only the business of those giving birth.

  5. Sheesh! This is definitely something that is between the couple and their birth team, and whomever they decide to allow in. But no one should be judged for their decisions, as you said!

  6. Sheesh! This is definitely something that is between the couple and their birth team, and whomever they decide to allow in. But no one should be judged for their decisions, as you said!

  7. Really great post! I don’t have kids of my own, but I have found that I am suddenly at the age where almost all of the people I went to high school with (and who inevitably have found me on Facebook) are all having babies–on purpose, even! With this, I have been privy to a whole lot of “this is my plan!” type of sharing. From birth plans to feeding and diapering plans and parenting strategies. In almost every single one of the status updates I have seen discussing these things, the person who posted it ended up having to actually defend their decisions against those who thought they knew better–and really, who doesn’t know better than anyone to ever log into Facebook, right? I can see where the so-called Mommy Wars come from in our society, because it begins as soon as you may announce on a social media account that you are expecting. People pipe in to offer their congratulations with a side order of unsolicited parenting advice. My entire philosophy has always been “That works for you. Awesome! I wish you the best of luck with everything!” because any decision a parent makes with their child or soon-to-be child in mind is none of my business, or anyone else’s. SO enjoyed this post!

  8. Really great post! I don’t have kids of my own, but I have found that I am suddenly at the age where almost all of the people I went to high school with (and who inevitably have found me on Facebook) are all having babies–on purpose, even! With this, I have been privy to a whole lot of “this is my plan!” type of sharing. From birth plans to feeding and diapering plans and parenting strategies. In almost every single one of the status updates I have seen discussing these things, the person who posted it ended up having to actually defend their decisions against those who thought they knew better–and really, who doesn’t know better than anyone to ever log into Facebook, right? I can see where the so-called Mommy Wars come from in our society, because it begins as soon as you may announce on a social media account that you are expecting. People pipe in to offer their congratulations with a side order of unsolicited parenting advice. My entire philosophy has always been “That works for you. Awesome! I wish you the best of luck with everything!” because any decision a parent makes with their child or soon-to-be child in mind is none of my business, or anyone else’s. SO enjoyed this post!

  9. I agree it is no ones business buy your own. The same as your choice to breastfeed or not.

  10. I agree it is no ones business buy your own. The same as your choice to breastfeed or not.

  11. To each their own… is what I always say.. Great post…

  12. To each their own… is what I always say.. Great post…

  13. Ha ha…I never developed a birth plan with my two boys. We delivered in a hospital because our insurance company was very picky with the whole midwife situation. I agree that a parent should make an informed decision and not totally rely on the “advice” of some “medical professionals”, but I won’t judge someone for what they choose to do. I really think it is wrong to say that one way is better than the other and you are a horrible parent for not doing it.

  14. Ha ha…I never developed a birth plan with my two boys. We delivered in a hospital because our insurance company was very picky with the whole midwife situation. I agree that a parent should make an informed decision and not totally rely on the “advice” of some “medical professionals”, but I won’t judge someone for what they choose to do. I really think it is wrong to say that one way is better than the other and you are a horrible parent for not doing it.

  15. I am guilty of thinking people who wanted home birts, water birts, etc. were crazy back when I had my first child at 18. However, over the past 6 years (especially the past year) I have really become interested in it, and would even consider it if I became pregnant again. I’m even looking into becoming a doula.. 🙂

  16. I am guilty of thinking people who wanted home birts, water birts, etc. were crazy back when I had my first child at 18. However, over the past 6 years (especially the past year) I have really become interested in it, and would even consider it if I became pregnant again. I’m even looking into becoming a doula.. 🙂

  17. Rachel @ Rachel's Giveaways says:

    I’m pregnant with my first and am going against the advice in all my natural childbirth books – I’m not going to have a birth plan. I’m an RN and when I interviewed in L&D, they told me that a ‘birth plan is a ticket for a C-section’. I know that sounds harsh, but what they mean is the ones who are nervous enough to write a 6 page manifesto and expect everything to go perfectly usually have the worst deliveries.

    I have a few simple requests, which I plan to communicate to my L&D nurses face to face. I don’t think I need a piece of paper to express my wishes. I hope to delivery naturally and drug-free, but ultimately what matters most to me is healthy outcomes for me and my baby.

    Although I respectfully disagree with women who just wish to get the epidural, I would never state my opinions on someone elses choices unless they sought it.

  18. Sarah Jane says:

    I did not have a birth plan written. I knew what I wanted in my head and figured my husband or I could communicate to the nurse/doctor our needs/wants if we had to.

  19. I didn’t have a birth plan for either of my kids. If I did I would have been sorely disappointed since neither of my births went “according to plan” other than in the end I had a baby.

  20. I couldn’t agree more! Moreso, I think that birth plans have a nifty way of setting some women up for failure (especially the ones that have every minute detail written in, down to having the Lion King song queued for the moment of birth). But hey, it’s really none my business what you do… 😉

  21. abedabun dawn says:

    This doesnt bother me as much as those who say “it takes a village to raise a child”. My husband and I raised our by ourselves LOL! Weird huh LOL!

    Love your site!

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