I love buying diapers. It’s fun for me. When I get fluffy mail, it’s an absolute thrill. I enjoy buying new cloth diapers the way other women enjoy buying shoes, purses, or whatever else tickles their fancy. However, I’ve recently come across another side of buying diapers. It’s a side that is beyond me.
A couple of days ago, I’d shared that I was really, really in love with a particular Ella Bella Bum. That Hello Kitty diaper is my unicorn. However, I have definite limits. I buy diapers because I like them. I like pretty ones of all price points. It makes me happy to match cloth diapers to my daughter’s outfits. I like getting custom diapers because they’re pretty and unique.
Recently, though, I became aware of a kind of darker side of buying diapers.
Some people are a little bit competitive about buying cloth diapers. There are certain brands that are stalked and go quickly. Ella Bella Bum, Tanagerine Baby, and Ragababe are quickly snatched up. That’s great; it suggests that they are popular diapers that moms love. Some of them are, without a doubt, beautiful. I love buying diapers of the beautiful, functional variety. And if it’s a diaper that not everyone in my area has, it’ll be easier for me when I decide that it’s time to sell my stash.
And that’s okay.
So what’s the darker side?
When Candice* wrote her tips on how to stalk Ella Bella Bum diapers, some great things happened. It made it easier for moms who were missing out on a
stalking stocking to get in on getting some beautiful prints. There was an unanticipated result, too: cloth diapering friend of mine started to see the darkness of collecting. Sometimes people get so upset over someone else buying the diaper that she wanted that an adult tantrum will start. Friendships can be ruined because she beat someone else to that coveted diaper of the stocking. And then buying diapers can be about status. When that status symbol is used to be superior over someone else, it’s not fun anymore. It’s exclusionary. It sucks.
Maybe my local cloth diapering community is unusual. We’re tight knit. We’re pretty accepting. We’re friendly and we want to help. It doesn’t matter to us if that mom is using prefolds and covers or if her entire stash is made of Chelory. It doesn’t matter if she loves China Cheapes or if her baby only poops in the finest corinthian leather. I never, ever want to see a mom feel like she has to justify using whatever she uses to the rest of us. And I’d hate to see a mom feel excluded because she can’t afford or can’t justify spending $50 on a diaper.
While friendships can be made through stalking together and the fun that can be had of anticipating new diapers, the cat fights that can occur over them is certainly a darker side of buying diapers. So I’ve made a decision. I will never, ever stalk a diaper. Yes, I would love that Hello Kitty diaper. Yes, there are other diapers out there that I want to try, and I will try them eventually. I just won’t do it via stalking and any sort of bullying mentality that can show up. You see, I would love to help my cloth diapering community remain inclusive. I don’t want to have something just so someone else can’t. I don’t want to compete with my fellow addicts.
Have you ever stepped back from a buying craze because you didn’t like the results?