Buying Diapers Should Be Fun

I love buying diapers.  It’s fun for me.  When I get fluffy mail, it’s an absolute thrill.  I enjoy buying new cloth diapers the way other women enjoy buying shoes, purses, or whatever else tickles their fancy.  However, I’ve recently come across another side of buying diapers.  It’s a side that is beyond me.

A couple of days ago, I’d shared that I was really, really in love with a particular Ella Bella Bum.  That Hello Kitty diaper is my unicorn.  However, I have definite limits.  I buy diapers because I like them.  I like pretty ones of all price points.  It makes me happy to match cloth diapers to my daughter’s outfits.  I like getting custom diapers because they’re pretty and unique.

Recently, though, I became aware of a kind of darker side of buying diapers.

Some people are a little bit competitive about buying cloth diapers.  There are certain brands that are stalked and go quickly.  Ella Bella Bum, Tanagerine Baby, and Ragababe are quickly snatched up.  That’s great; it suggests that they are popular diapers that moms love.  Some of them are, without a doubt, beautiful.  I love buying diapers of the beautiful, functional variety.  And if it’s a diaper that not everyone in my area has, it’ll be easier for me when I decide that it’s time to sell my stash.

And that’s okay.

So what’s the darker side?

When Candice* wrote her tips on how to stalk Ella Bella Bum diapers, some great things happened.  It made it easier for moms who were missing out on a stalking stocking to get in on getting some beautiful prints.  There was an unanticipated result, too: cloth diapering friend of mine started to see the darkness of collecting.  Sometimes people get so upset over someone else buying the diaper that she wanted that an adult tantrum will start.  Friendships can be ruined because she beat someone else to that coveted diaper of the stocking.  And then buying diapers can be about status.  When that status symbol is used to be superior over someone else, it’s not fun anymore.  It’s exclusionary.  It sucks.

Buying Diapers Should Be Fun (Cloth Diaper Addicts)

When this mom quipped, “So all you ladies posting your WAHM diapers and fancy fluff, well I have my own $35 diaper! Partially homemade!” I started to think that maybe our new high end diaper craze was a little silly… and possibly exclusionary.

Maybe my local cloth diapering community is unusual.  We’re tight knit.  We’re pretty accepting.  We’re friendly and we want to help.  It doesn’t matter to us if that mom is using prefolds and covers or if her entire stash is made of Chelory.  It doesn’t matter if she loves China Cheapes or if her baby only poops in the finest corinthian leather.  I never, ever want to see a mom feel like she has to justify using whatever she uses to the rest of us.  And I’d hate to see a mom feel excluded because she can’t afford or can’t justify spending $50 on a diaper.

While friendships can be made through stalking together and the fun that can be had of anticipating new diapers, the cat fights that can occur over them is certainly a darker side of buying diapers.  So I’ve made a decision.  I will never, ever stalk a diaper.  Yes, I would love that Hello Kitty diaper.  Yes, there are other diapers out there that I want to try, and I will try them eventually.  I just won’t do it via stalking and any sort of bullying mentality that can show up.  You see, I would love to help my cloth diapering community remain inclusive.  I don’t want to have something just so someone else can’t.  I don’t want to compete with my fellow addicts.

Have you ever stepped back from a buying craze because you didn’t like the results?

*Point of Clarification: It is not Candice, Ella Bella Bum, nor any of the other sought after WAHM diapers that are causing the dark side of cloth diaper buying.  Candice, Sam, and Ella Bella Bum are all awesome.  The dark side comes about in the way we pursue the craving and how we treat people over it.
About Suzi

Suzi is an American ex-pat living in British Columbia. She's a cloth diaper addict, wife, mom of three, and President of the Prince George chapter of Cloth for a Cause.

Comments

  1. Look for a Facebook group in your area. There may already be one and you just don’t know about it! I did it alone for the first two years. I found my local community after Eudora was born.

  2. cat @ tots says:

    I luckily haven’t experienced this myself (I am 99% BG elementals over here), but I get exactly what you are saying. Some people are crazy and some people are just mean. I actually wrote a post on virtual bullying by moms, if you want to read. http://thinkingoutsidethesandbox.ca/virtual-bullying-by-moms/. It just makes me crazy that people will act one way ‘online’ and another way ‘offline’. Set an example for your children ladies, and BE KIND!

  3. Lauren S. says:

    At the end of the day, these beautiful diapers are, in reality, simply pee and poop catchers 🙂 I’m glad I haven’t gotten into this craze (and so is my husband, for sure). However, it may be a different story is this next baby is a girl… 😉

    • It has been different for me, for sure, since Eudora came along. But even still, there are definite limits.

  4. Virginia @thatbaldchick says:

    I try to avoid all the cloth diaper mama drama. I haven’t stalked any diapers (yet), and maybe the drama is why I am so turned off by diaper stalking.

  5. I cloth diapered two kids and never stalked any diapers. It’s just not my thing. Also, I could never justify spending $40+ on something that would be pooped and peed in.

  6. It
    is crazy… I can’t imagine losing a friend over a chunk of cloth
    (albeit pretty as heck!)… the first thing I do when I see one of our
    local mommas is stalking a specific diaper is start Googling like mad to
    try and find it for her! Rushing off to buy it myself for bragging
    rights is the furthest thing from my mind. I love our close knit group
    too!

  7. Desiree Depinet says:

    I have joined a couple of facebook cloth diaper swaps and I am amazed at the drama everyday. I like to find used diapers of different types so I can have a variety in my stash until I find what I really love (the little one isn’t here yet). I am pretty sure I will be using flats and prefolds with covers because I find them fascinating. The rude comments about diapers from China, the price a momma has her diapers listed for, and the insults towards those that try to catch a good deal on a website are ridiculous. All I want to do is save money and try to be a little greener. I am not trying to impress anyone.

  8. Michelle Charlton says:

    oh i love my ella bella bums, but i am selling off the majority of my stash.. gonna stick with her hybrids only now for the most part due to a few reasons. I looove the thrill of stalking but yes, people are harsh/rude and just plain mean quite often..it’s only cloth guys. IT’S ONLY CLOTH

  9. AlannaB says:

    It sickens me that GROWN WOMEN are being so vicious over some pieces of cloth. True, some of these diapers are amazing…but really, most of the diaper makers make it as fair as possible (I was able to get my hands on a couple of Ragababes because I subscribed to the newsletter and checked their FB pae and website every now and then. When I missed a stocking, I didn’t complain about it and lashed out aggression on their social media. These moms (or dads, because they are out there) do not run sweatshops, so they could not possibly meet demand.

    I can’t begin to tell you how many blogs, Facebook groups, etc. I have stopped following (won’t be yours of course!) because of this type of drama.

    • It makes me absolutely sad when people are mean about it. I LOVE my EBBs, and I love the comraderie and new friends I’ve made in the EBB group, but I don’t care for cattiness… not about diapers, not about the latest and greatest toy (remember news stories about fist fights breaking out between moms over Tickle Me Elmo?), not about anything.

  10. Alicia Owen says:

    I had no idea this was even going on! But I only buy one kind of diaper and not very often. lol If I could justify spending the money on some of the adorable ones on Diaper Wars, I totally would. I would never make anyone feel less about themselves over it, though. That’s just silly! Like you were saying, we should all support each other and be proud of each other just for the fact that we use cloth diapers in the first place, no matter what type or brand it may be!

  11. Lisa Jones says:

    I Have Never Been In This Situation But What A Shame To Lose A Friend Over Diapers!!

  12. Oh goodness, I can’t imagine a friendship being lost of diapers. I’m sorry you’ve encountered that drama. I was a member of Cotton Babies, a FB CD group for over a year when we were using cloth with my daughter and never had any drama but, then again, I wasn’t collecting, so maybe I just didn’t notice it.
    Holli recently posted…Mad About It Monday: How To Ruin A Relationship In One Simple StepMy Profile

  13. Wow, I never knew there was cloth diaper mama drama! Oh us women find anything to fight over I guess! haha. Sorry to hear this goes on and I encourage you to keep speaking out on it, and sticking up for the underdogs good for you! I am a disposable diaper mama. I apologize but it’s true. I hope my comment still gets posted 😉 Let the tomato throwing begin 🙂
    Angel recently posted…Boss Lady Hangout!My Profile

  14. WOW! That’s crazy! I never knew that cloth diapering could get so crazy! Thanks for sharing!
    Natasha Rodriguez Mom 2 5321 recently posted…Happy Father’s Day Giveaway 2 Winners 5/26-6/15My Profile

  15. I never did cloth diapers but I can see the upside in it. I am so happy to have a 6 year old that can just go to the bathroom when he needs to go.
    Danielle recently posted…Kidney Disease and Uremic Frost, Oh No! Day 2 of 100My Profile

  16. WOW that is just sad! I am sorry you guys are going through this with grown women!
    reesa lewandowski recently posted…Wusic Bluetooth Shower Speaker Giveaway – Ends 6/8My Profile

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