Proud Mom, That’s Great, But…

There’s absolutely no shame in being a proud mom.  I know that I’m absolutely elated when I get to tell someone about my kids’ accomplishments.  I was thrilled to tell everyone in the world that would listen that my fifteen year old is going into his junior year of high school (he’s a grade ahead of where he should be) next year, he’s made honor roll all year in a complete turn around from the previous year, and is set to take 3 AP classes and two honors classes next year.  Whenever Norton used words to overcome his language delay, I was over the moon.  And I danced a jig when Eudora took six steps.

Proud Mom, That's Great, But... (Cloth Diaper Addicts)

I guess she wants to make sure everyone knows that her kid is better than yours?

Every mom has moments where she wants to brag on her child.  We should be proud and brag on our children.  And our friends should celebrate those things with us.  I figure if you’re not a proud mom, there’s some bigger issues going on in the family unit.  (Child health issues, extreme behavior, etc.  These things happen.  It’s not a criticism.)

There’s a but.  There’s always a “but” in there.

It’s great that you’re a proud mom.  I’m a proud mom.  However, there’s a time when it can become a problem.  When your preferred method of displaying your parenting pride comes in the form of comparing your child to the children of your friends and acquaintances, it’s an issue.  “Oh, he’s not walking?  Jacob started doing that months ago!”  Those kinds of comments, regardless of the proud mom’s intent, only serve to hurt and offend.

Another obnoxious proud mom moment is when some members of your parenting circle are sitting around and observing the behavior of another child.  One mom says to another, “Oh, wow, that’s amazing how quickly he catches on!  He just watched Ava do that once and he was able to perfectly do it!”  That’s a moment to celebrate your friend’s child’s success.  That is not the moment to say, “Oh, well, Jacob does that, too!”

It turns out that it’s not a competition.  It’s rude.  It’s obnoxious.  It’s not always about your child (or mine).  Sometimes, just sometimes, the best course of action is to sit back, smile, and let your friend have the proud mom moment in the sunshine.

Have you ever had a friend take the “proud mom” behavior too far?  How did you cope with it?

Image courtesy of  stockimages / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

About Suzi

Suzi is an American ex-pat living in British Columbia. She's a cloth diaper addict, wife, mom of three, and President of the Prince George chapter of Cloth for a Cause.

Comments

  1. Virginia Gudiel says:

    Oh yeah! I can definitely relate. Sometimes I feel as if its a competition with some people. I’m like sit back,relax and enjoy your kid.

  2. Corinne Schmitt says:

    Thank you for sharing this advice! I think new moms especially get caught up in the thrill of their child’s achievements. Throw a little sleep deprivation in and they will say and do things that can be offensive or hurtful and they have no idea they are doing it.

  3. Kelsey Apley says:

    I don’t have kids but I hear a lot about competion on who does this first or whatever and it gets old. We all should be happy for each other and those who have kiddos’ support everyone 🙂

  4. Melissa Ryan says:

    I try to be very cautious about doing this. I know at times I have because we are all so proud of our little Einstein’s. But I try to think before I speak. Every momma does deserve these moments. I really like your post!

  5. Mercedes Donis says:

    As a new mom these types of comments make me very anxious. Also, it’s very hard not to compare with twins, and then if you go to a twins’ play group…! But it’s important that we all keep these courtesies in mind. We all want what’s best and every child is unique and has their own strengths. Thanks for sharing this reminder!

  6. Shauna Torres says:

    It is so hard not to compare your kids to others… Hubby and I still joke about a MOTHER of a friend of ours that constantly told us that our friend was walking and talking by 9 months, lol…

  7. Hehehe, I know some moms like that. It’s annoying, but I try not to let it bug me. It is what it is.

  8. Heather Johnson says:

    I am very proud of my daughter for meeting certain milestones early. However, and that is a BIG HOWEVER, all kids are different. Some kids progress faster, some slower, and some right in the middle. Parents who are obnoxious and make childhood a competition would do well to remember that fact. We can’t all be fast. We can’t all be slow. And some of us are average. And being anywhere on the continuum doesn’t really matter. It just is.

  9. Oh this is a great question! I’m a proud mama but I do have a sister in law that takes it too far! Everything is a comparison to other kids– even her own kids think that it’s too much.

  10. EverythingMomandBaby says:

    What a great post! I don’t do it to others but it does happen to me. I just chuckle at them and reflect it off.

Trackbacks

  1. […] The Magic Pumpkin by Mercer Mayer and Gina Mayer is a title in the Little Critter Little Sister series of children’s books. As a kid, I loved reading the Little Critter books. I have therefore been introducing my daughter to the series. The Magic Pumpkin, the Little Sister and her friend spend Halloween night looking for the last pumpkin in the pumpkin patch. According to legend, the last pumpkin is magical. I definitely agree that the way in which my daughter pointed at and named every pumpkin in the book was magical, at least for this proud mama. […]

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