Sibling Relationship Confuses Me

I have completely and utterly given up on understanding the sibling relationship between Norton and Eudora.  Seriously.  I’m just so done.

I expected a certain amount of rivalry… especially since Eudora’s birth ended up with Norton hardly seeing anyone but his grandparents for a week since I was released from the hospital with a horrendous stomach flu.  Then it sort of settled into Norton just ignoring her, which, while not an ideal sibling relationship, was better than him throwing things at her or whatever.

Sibling Relationship Confuses Me (Cloth Diaper Addicts)

One of the rare moments when I actually caught Eudora and Norton playing nicely together on camera.

These days, the sibling relationship includes a lot of crying.  Usually it’s because Norton does something mean to Eudora, she cries, and he cries when I jerk him away from her.  There was, of course, the time that their rivalry got a little violent and they both cried.Today, though, I just decided that the sibling relationship would be something that I would never comprehend.  Eudora was trying to climb up on the couch.  Norton, already comfortable on the couch, objected and prevented this manuever by kicking her in the face.  Understandably, she cried.  Then he cried when I caught his leg before he could kick her again.  He was given the option to either give Eudora a kiss and apologize or go to his room for time out.  He elected to give her a kiss.

Eudora, of course, beamed at her big brother as the tears ran down her face.  She still cried a bit, so Norton showed some kindness by stroking her hair and saying, “Aww, it’s all right…”  It was cute.  It was sweet.  It was also extremely confusing to me since his kicking her in the face was the cause of her tears in the first place.  I praised him for showing her kindness, but still.  It’s weird.  I totally don’t get it.

Did your children ever go through a weird phase like this in their sibling relationship?

About Suzi

Suzi is an American ex-pat living in British Columbia. She's a cloth diaper addict, wife, mom of three, and President of the Prince George chapter of Cloth for a Cause.


  1. cat @ TOTS says:

    I am pretty sure this will go on for years, although at about 2-4 I find they get along a bit better and it just improves from there. They will likely always have the love/hate thing going on, at least till adulthood! Good luck mama!

  2. Shannon Thomas says:

    First of all, I love the names. Second, I have 4 kids. My oldest and second youngest have a relationship that is best described as co-dependant. My oldest is super anxious and controlling, which drives my wild 6 year old crazy. But when I try to separate them, they are both “bored” and “lonely”. I’ve essentially given up at this point!

  3. Sarah McKelvy says:

    I only have one child, so I don’t know how the sibling relationship will be. My brother and I were 18 months apart, and I HATED how close we were in age. A lot of girls in high school had no time for me, but would fawn over him.

  4. Lalaine Hagler says:

    me and my sister went thru a lot of rivalry! we hated each other until we are married and finally apart. But now we are close than ever. I guess its just normal.

  5. My boys are pretty close in age and play well together for the most part, but lately that has changed a little. One is obsessed with playing trains all day long, when the other is only interested in cars. When one of them asks the other to play, and the other doesn’t want to pull away from his favorite toy, crying (sometimes hitting or pushing) starts. They were so used to playing together that feelings get hurt when the other doesn’t want to play.

    What I have done recently, is something that my mom used to do for my sister and I (we are also close in age and have the same personalities as my children). She had us sit in time-out and while holding hands, we had to say a few nice things about each other. From time to time, we still fought, but as adults we are very close 🙂

  6. Teresa Britton says:

    My kids got along very well when they were younger–up through most of elementary school. They’re now 13 and 17 and absolutely hate each other most of the time. They are actually about 3 1/2 years apart, and I am hoping and thinking that as they become young men they will be friends. It is really rough now though. I think your kids will go in and out of these stages, and then have times where friends are more important than siblings too. It’s all normal.

  7. Shalaina Simmons says:

    My girls also have a complicated relationship. For starters they are 5 years apart, with my youngest turning two later this month. They will fight over any toy, baby toy or Barbie, it doesn’t matter. My little one also doesn’t share her sister very well. If we go to the playground her big sister is NOT to play with other children, if she does inevitably there is the toddler melt down (lol, virtually impossible to keep it from occuring). However when at home, my little one chooses to pretend her sister barely exists unless there is something she wants from her. My oldest daughter, who initially renounced her sister upon learning we were having another girl, overdoses on affection. She always wants to smother her little sister with hugs and kisses, which her sister does not like. But now that her sister has become a mocking bird she’s too annoying to be around. I’m very interested to see the dynamics next month when their little brother arrives.

  8. Mera FeatherStory says:

    My kids get along pretty well most of the time, but their relationship is strange to me in other ways…or let’s just say I don’t get it, like you said. That’s really cute about the kiss though. How old are they?

  9. Being an only child and having two kids 11 years apart, this is a relationship that obviously eludes me as well. My kids don’t bicker, obviously, but there are some issues that they have with their age difference. Mostly just with the oldest playing a little too rough with the little one which makes the little one beat up his older brother

  10. Karine Capobianco-Traverse says:

    Mine are always hitting each other and then two minutes later are playing like it never happened. I remember my sister and I were the same way more often than not. I think it is typical with closely spaced children.

  11. My boys are the best of friends and the worst of enemies. They are 16 months apart so it’s getting to be pretty even in terms of strength and coordination. They fight and hurt eachother and then are best friends 1 minute later. That’s the way boys are though, isn’t it? They fight it out and then it’s done, no grudges or mind games. I actually think I like it better that way:)

  12. I keep telling Girlchild that a time is going to come when she HATES Tadpole Jones. She totally denies it, but I think when she is 13 and angsty, having a 6 year old brother is going to make her nuts.

    Sibling relationships are hard to comprehend because each one is different. My brother, when he was 5-ish slammed my hands in the bathroom door and then locked himself into the bathroom to avoid punishment. WHILE MY HANDS WERE STILL STUCK. He was trying to get away from the little sister who followed him everywhere…

  13. Alma Andrade says:

    I have a four year old and just recently had a baby so have not yet experience but i am sure i will.

  14. My kids will be 2 yrs apart- we chose this bc I’m 6 yrs older than my brother and my husband (who is a twin and has an awesome relationship with his brother) is 4 yrs younger than his sister. Neither of us are close to our younger/older siblis… At all. I’m hoping that the closeness in age will help with our kids. I expect there to be trials and tribulations, but my daughter is sweet and loving to everyone so hopefully she won’t get too jealous when #2 arrives.

  15. Siblings are hilarious. Right now I have only one child. However, I do have 2 younger brothers. We did a lot of rough housing lol. We liked each for the most part though, which always surprised people. Weird!
    Ashleigh Swerdfeger recently posted…My Bubz 17-18 MonthsMy Profile


  1. […] actions to show how he feels instead of words.  He’ll hit Eudora when he’s angry.  He’ll give her a kiss to show that he’s sorry.  He gives me snuggles (even though they sometimes feel like […]

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