Dear Future Darwin Award Winner

While gassing up my van last week, I had a run-in with a future Darwin Award winner.  Since my exasperated reprimand had no effect, I’ll just have to get my frustrations out by writing her a letter.

Dear Future Darwin Award Winner,Dear Future Darwin Award Winner (Cloth Diaper Addicts)

I don’t know you.  I don’t know your name.  I don’t know anything about your struggles as a human being.  Honestly, I have to tell you that I really don’t care.  You see, Future Darwin Award Winner, you did something unforgivable: you put my children in danger with your stupidity that could have removed you from the gene pool.

It was a nice day.  I was happy to be filling up my van with gas for the month.  My kids were quiet.  Norton had just had a great first day at preschool.  Other folks were quietly filling their vehicles and going about life as a member of civilized society.

Then you came along.  Yes, you.  With your red shorts, your big red sun glasses, your white tube socks with red stripes above your knee, and your red peep-toed slingbacks.  You came crossing the busy road with such oblivion that I’m amazed your status as a Future Darwin Award Winner wasn’t achieved right then.  All the while, you were puffing away on your cigarette.

As a reformed smoker, I don’t enjoy the smell of cigarettes at all.  I hate the smell.  But I understand that you may not have found the way for you to quit yet.  My understanding, however, was destroyed when you mindlessly staggered through the gas station pumping area.  My good will for your incognizant stumbling became anger at your stupidity when you strode right between the pumps, puffing away on your noxious cancer stick.  You see, at that moment, Future Darwin Award Winner, you could have blown up the gas station while my sweet, innocent children were safely strapped inside my Grand Caravan.  I yelled at you to pay attention and not smoke near the gas station… but you were too dazed, to engrossed in whatever  thoughts rattled through that brain of yours, to let my words sink in.  You must have heard me ask you what the blazes you were thinking.  You looked right at me.

Yet you still stumbled on.

If you want to remove yourself from the gene pool through your own stupidity, that’s fine.  In fact, civilization might be better for it.  But you do not have the right to take my children through your idiocy as well.


A mother who would like to see her children grow up to be amazing

Image courtesy of Dan/Free Digital

About Suzi

Suzi is an American ex-pat living in British Columbia. She's a cloth diaper addict, wife, mom of three, and President of the Prince George chapter of Cloth for a Cause.


  1. Not cool. I honestly don’t know how some people make it through life with such little common sense.

  2. Anne Sweden says:

    Ironically, I love the smell of cigarettes and cigars and pipes – but I do not love them being lit and and smoked around gasoline fumes!

  3. Brooke @ Piggy Bank Savers says:

    🙁 The line absolutely gets crossed when my children are put in danger. I don’t give a care in the world if a stranger wants to risk their safety, but my children’s safety? Not a chance. Mama bear WILL come out!

  4. It makes me sad to think of how inconsiderate people are for anyone but themselves these days. Just this weekend I wasn’t too happy about the fellow who went out of his way to walk slowly in front of us on a narrow sidewalk with a lit cigarette at his side and directly in front of my son. I don’t care that the dude smokes, but I do care that my son had to breath that.

  5. Helene Cohen Bludman says:

    It is amazing how oblivious some people can be to the danger they are putting others in. Glad you all are OK.

  6. J Shallow-Miller says:

    I hate the smell of smoke too. Can’t believe they have no idea that they are carrying an ignightor by flammables. Ugh.

  7. Some people have no consideration at all, I’m glad you and your children are okay. Smoking around kids is bad enough but at a gas station, really?!

  8. Christina G says:

    We were pumping gas once when an EMPLOYEE from the station walked outside and lit up. We called the police.

  9. I would have been upset as well. Especially since it sounds like this woman was being so blase’ and careless, it wouldn’t be much of a stretch to think that she might flick her lit cigarette right near a pump.

  10. Man, what is wrong with some people? We recently had a blowout with our neighbor for repeatedly inviting a bunch of cigarette smoking friends over to their house (at night, during the middle of the week…but that’s another issue) where they proceeded to all light up just feet from our sleeping baby’s window. It’s been hot and we don’t have A/C so the window was open. We asked them to put out the cigarettes or move locations, but they refused. It’s bad enough when people don’t have any consideration for the developing lungs of a child. Add to that the idiocy of smoking in a gas station and you really have to wonder about some people.

  11. Karen Hewitt says:

    It shouldnt but others stupidity amazes me more frequently than I would care to admit. You would think that she would get it that it was dangerous

  12. Seriously?! People are so dumb sometimes. Hello! Sparks + gasoline fumes = explosion and fire.
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  13. I’m amazed that some people manage to be so stupid and inconsiderate at the same time. I would have yelled at her too!
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  14. OMG stuff like this makes me insane. I am not sure what people are thinking when they do things like this.
    Stacie @ The Divine Miss Mommy recently posted…@BestBuy Mobile Specialty Stores – Get What You Need on the Go!My Profile

  15. Jenelle says:

    Ugh I know how you feel!

  16. So frustrating! At the cheapest gas station near my house, people frequently leave their cars running while they pump gas! SERIOUSLY!?! My husband refuses to go to that station any more.

    • Seriously?! Ugh. Look, if they want to kill themselves, fine. It’s probably better that they take themselves out of the gene pool. But the whole “killing other people” is a problem. 😛

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