Bleach that Fluff (Green Eggs & Ham Filk)

Frequently, I see some cloth diapering advice floating around that makes me cringe.  Sure, there’s a lot of variables whenever giving out advice.  I’m also a firm believer that there is no One True Way in cloth diapering… and anyone who insists otherwise is either lying or delusional.  Either way, I find that mentality to be bad for the cloth diapering community.

Rather than write a diatribe about how I hate suggestions to just use bleach or suggest that every time you bleach a cloth diaper, a unicorn’s horn falls off, I’m going to tackle it Dr. Seuss style.  I bring you Strip that Fluff.

Fluff that bleach… Bleach that fluff…

Why bleach that fluff?
Why bleach that fluff?
I do not like to bleach that fluff.

Would you bleach it here or there?
I would not bleach them here or there.
I would not bleach them anywhere.

Would you bleach them in a box?
Would you bleach them with your socks?

I would not bleach them in a box.
I would not bleach them with my socks.

I would not bleach them here or there.
I would not bleach them anywhere.

I would not bleach my precious stuff.
I will not ever bleach that fluff.

Would you bleach them for a plague?
Would you bleach for causes vague?

I would not bleach them in a plague.
I would not bleach for causes vague.

I would not bleach them in a box.
I would not bleach them with my socks.

I would not bleach them here or there.
I would not bleach them anywhere.

I would not bleach my precious fluff.
I will not ever bleach that fluff.

Would you bleach them on the run?
Would you bleach them just for fun?

I would not bleach them on the run.
I would not bleach them just for fun.

I would not bleach them in a plague.
I would not bleach for causes vague.

I would not bleach them in a box.
I would not bleach them with my socks.

I would not bleach them here or there.
I would not bleach them anywhere.

I would not bleach my precious fluff.
I will not ever bleach that fluff.

Would you bleach them to be white?
Would you bleach them in the night?

I would not bleach them to be white.
I would not bleach them in the night.

I would not bleach them in a plague.
I would not bleach for causes vague.

I would not bleach them in a box.
I would not bleach them with my socks.

I would not bleach them here or there.
I would not bleach them anywhere.

I would not bleach my precious fluff.
I will not ever bleach that fluff.

Would you bleach them on the run?
Would you bleach them just for fun?

I would not bleach them on the run.
I would not bleach them just for fun.

I would not bleach them in a plague.
I would not bleach for causes vague.

I would not bleach them in a box.
I would not bleach them with my socks.

I would not bleach them here or there.
I would not bleach them anywhere.

I would not bleach my precious fluff.
I will not ever bleach that fluff.

So you will not bleach them, you say?
Try it!  Try it and you may!

If I bleach my whole fluff crop…
If I bleach them will you stop?

*sigh*

Bleach that Fluff - A Fluffy Green Eggs & Ham (Cloth Diaper Addicts)

My diapers are all full of doom!
You really ought to leave the room!

Now I’ve finally bleached my fluff,
I’m all raging, in a huff.

My diapers now have ugly holes.
My diapers are now fit for voles.

My once pristine fluff is now done.
Cloth diapering is no longer fun

I’m feeling really, really sad.
The results are very, very bad.

I wish I’d never bleached my fluff.
Now I’m really in a huff.

I should not have ever bleached my fluff.
I never should have used that stuff.

Okay, so are the results always this dire?  No, of course not.  There are people out there who have used bleach with great results.  However, there are also people who have used bleach and had it eat away at things.  At the end of the day, if you want to bleach your fluff, do it.  It’s your fluff.  It’s your kid’s duff.  But that being said, if you’re going to advise someone else to do it, make sure that you’re also making it clear that the results may not be what you’re hoping for.  And remember, too, that you’re giving advice that can void warranties and ruin diapers.  For a family that cannot afford to replace them if they are ruined, it’s a huge disservice.

Above all, though, remember that there is no One True Way.  Not even when it comes to bleach.

Have you ever used bleach on your fluff?  To what end?

About Suzi

Suzi is an American ex-pat living in British Columbia. She's a cloth diaper addict, wife, mom of three, and President of the Prince George chapter of Cloth for a Cause.

Comments

  1. Great poem. 🙂 Very creative.
    Christy Garrett @ Uplifting Families recently posted…Rascal Was Found Playing the Nintendo DSIMy Profile

  2. That. Was. Awesome. I’ve never used chlorine bleach but I have used oxygen bleach (slightly less harsh on the fabric) when I was treating yeast. I don’t bleach any of my laundry though because I like my clothes and towels to last a long while.
    Amy @ Oh So Savvy Mom recently posted…Last Minute Holiday Shopping? Don’t Miss these Deals! Canvas Prints, Stella & Dot, and More!My Profile

    • LOL! I’m glad you enjoyed it. I don’t use chlorine bleach, either, but I do swear by oxygen bleach for a variety of issues. 🙂

  3. I usually stick to my Molly’s Suds and haven’t needed to use bleach or any extras for awhile. I totally agree that there is no one right way to do CD laundry, but lots of advice to sift through!
    Mindy recently posted…10 Special Things About YouMy Profile

  4. Very creative! I have never bleached and will never bleach my diapers (or most of my fabrics).

  5. Creative – you are very passionate about this bleach issue! I use bleach on my diapers about once a month, mostly because I’m too impatient to try a lot of other things. I think it just comes down to personal preference, shoot, If you’ve ever watched that My Big Fat American Gypsy show, the one girl brushed her teeth with bleach to whiten them (true story). lol
    Lauren Stevens recently posted…The Little Bee Co.: Cloth With a CauseMy Profile

  6. haha that was funny! I’ve used bleach on my diapers before, but I’m not going to anymore because of what I’ve been reading about it. I do run bleach through my top loading HE machine once a month for cleaning purposes, according to manufacturer recommendations. The thing that I couldn’t stand about using bleach is that the smell lingered no matter how many times I rinsed. That and it didn’t really really brighten the stains. And now I’m reading about how harmful it is/can be. No thank you!
    Melissa Mendez recently posted…A New Twist on a Holiday Tradition: Cinnamon OrnamentsMy Profile

  7. love this! LOL! I personally have never bleached my dipes, but it hasn’t been by specific choice or opinion. Just never have had to do it. I’m glad that I read up about how bleach can ruin diapers if you do use it though.
    Bianca @ The Pierogie Mama recently posted…Creamy Loaded Baked Potato Soup #cartonsmartMy Profile

  8. I love this poem!

    I’ve only bleached once because baby had yeast & it was living I her diapers. I wanted to make sure I killed it!

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  1. […] the opportunity to engage in “spirited debate” over the virtues horrors virtues of bleach, or the opportunity to find more blog fodder… I can’t leave because I don’t want […]

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