Please Don’t Let Our Son Be Broken

I can’t stop sobbing as I write this.  I’m beyond terrified.  I don’t understand how this thing could be possible in our family.  Autism or Autistic Spectrum Disorder are things that happen to other families.  Not mine.  Not to two parents who are both tested as geniuses.  This isn’t supposed to happen to us.

Things have been getting worse and worse with Norton since Christmas.  His behavior has been getting increasingly difficult.  It’s been agonizing to watch his behavior be like it is.  And I see my friends who post about their normal children and I’m just so… crushed.  I’m angry because our son doesn’t do those things.  I’m terrified because I don’t know what to expect.  I don’t know what any of this means.  I’m jealous because I want those touching sibling moments for my children.  And I hate myself for being so envious of my friends.

I try researching and I read about children exhibiting some of the same behaviors as Norton, like the echolalia and lack of interest in his peers.  We don’t have a diagnosis… just lots and lots of suggestions from child development professionals that indicate that we need to have Norton assessed.

I don’t want the assessment.  I try to say that there’s nothing wrong with my son.  He’s perfectly perfect.  But with the constipation issues and the potty training issues…  The temper tantrums that can last for hours over the slightest thing…  That two months ago he was completely dressing himself, right down to his socks and shoes, only to now need to be forced into wearing anything.

I can’t deny that something is wrong.  The entire family is feeling the strain.  My daughter, my sweet little girl, is trying so hard to cheer me up or distract me by closing my laptop whenever I start to cry.  Or she hands me a book.  Norton comes in and gives me a hug while saying, “It’s okay, Mommy.”  He looks at me and asks “Are you hurt?”

I’d love to think that he’s showing compassion.  But I can’t help but wonder how much of this is just the echolalia because those are the kinds of things that I say to him when he cries.

My husband is feeling the stress of the volatile household.  I’m stressed out and depressed.  I end each day feeling like I’ve been in some kind of POW camp, suffering from the psychological and physical abuse from my child while trying to keep my cool.  Even the dogs are acting out.  T’akaya the wonderful, brilliant border collie has taken to spite peeing in our bedroom whenever we confine her downstairs.  And we were doing so for her own protection.

I don’t want our son to have autism.  I don’t want to have to lower my expectations.  I thought he was going to have a wonderful, bright future in a professional field.  I thought he would be able to care for us when we’re old.   Now I find myself wondering what’s going to happen to him after we’re gone.  What next?

Then I read things that suggest that autism often shows up with lower than average IQs… and my son is smart.  That can’t be my son.  Not when he figures out mechanics so smoothly, so easily.  The worst part of my son being anything other than “neurotypical” is the possibility that he might not be the smart kid.

I read things about how children on the spectrum have muscle tone or coordination issues.  Norton does not.  He is actually extremely coordinated.  He doesn’t fall over.  He doesn’t have muscle tone issues or move differently.  With the cognitive issues, he doesn’t display pronoun reversal.  He understands that “I” and “me” refer to oneself (although he does frequently refer to himself in third person as “the Norton”) and that “you” is someone else.  I think about all of those things that are typical of autism that he doesn’t do and feel marginally better.  Not superior, but less panicky about there being something wrong.

Please, please don’t let our son be broken.  I can fix hurt feelings and skinned knees.  But autism?  This is something so far beyond what I know that I’m just lost.

About Suzi

Suzi is an American ex-pat living in British Columbia. She's a cloth diaper addict, wife, mom of three, and President of the Prince George chapter of Cloth for a Cause.

Comments

  1. In our experience, we saw autism like symptoms in our daughter when she was eating foods that she was sensitive to. She is on a gluten free, dairy free, grain free diet and the symptoms disappeared. She is also sensitive to high oxalate foods and too many high histamine foods. She is incredibly smart but would begin regressing when we did not watch her diet carefully. Look into the GAPS or SCD diet.

    I’ll keep you and your family in my prayers.

  2. Recent research shows that autism can, in fact, be closely tied to genius. Many geniuses are actually borderline autistic in some ways. Remember, the autism spectrum is just that: a spectrum. High-functioning autistics are out there. Not all autistic people are the stereotypical lower-functioning autistics. It is not impossible for him to be both autistic and a productive, employed, happy individual–and love is not out of the question. It is just harder. Get him assessed early, and you’ll be able to get him the help he needs early if he needs it. The earlier you can get help, the closer to a “normal” routine for him you’ll be able to get. Letting autism go longer without coping mechanisms and methods can lead to harder battles down the line.

    • Oh, I hope so. I made a comment to our speech pathologist that when we read through the symptoms I thought that *I* fit more into those spectrum suggestions than my son did. Thanks.

  3. Keeping you all in my thoughts. Just remember, what ever the outcome or assessment, you CAN do it. You are not lost. *Hugs to you all*

  4. I worked with Special needs children including children on the Autism spectrum before becoming a SAHM and the range in spectrum is HUGE!! some children are on the low end and have many difficulties and others are on the high end and with a little intervention and help can function in society with no issues. I do want to urge you to get him tested if so many people have said to as the earlier you start working with therapists and special ed teachers the easier it is for the child to progress. And also for you to get the support you need for yourself. There are amazing programs out there with amazing staff that will both support Norton and you and make everyone’s life easier and happier. Sometimes a simple little thing like a picture chart can make a HUGE difference for kids and can change a whole families life but if you don’t reach out and find the answers you can’t move forward to helping you, and Norton become the wonderful person he is. Your Boy will always be your boy no matter what 🙂
    I have personally seen what early intervention can accomplish and from what you have written about Norton I think he will be just fine.
    melissa recently posted…Find your perfect Prom dress at DressFirst.comMy Profile

  5. Ditto this 🙂 I was an ABA therapist for kids with Autism for many years, and I would also recommend the assessment just for the services and support you might qualify for that will help all of your family. I think a lot of times the actual diagnosis or label isn’t helpful except for the fact that it puts you in touch with specialists who can help you figure out how best to target the situations that are making life hard on all of you. And while there are kids with Autism who have low IQs, do try to remember that those tests aren’t designed for kids with specific needs – just because someone doesn’t test well doesn’t mean that they aren’t smart (it just means that their strengths aren’t captured by a test designed for a different learning or testing method). So keep the hope alive that there is still a bright and wonderful future in store for all of you, even if that looks differently than you’d anticipated. And know that everyone is sending you love and big hugs while your family struggles through this time.
    Carolyn recently posted…2013 Diaper Awards – Good Night!My Profile

  6. Yes, by your accounts, it sounds like there is something to be addressed. However, the ability to relate emotionally does not sound like classic autism. In any case, your son is NOT broken. No one is perfect. Everyone is different. Remember that.
    Heather Johnson recently posted…‘Duck & Goose’ Book ReviewMy Profile

  7. I shared many of your feelings when we found out or son had severe eczema. It was heartbreaking to look at pictures of others with their beautiful kids and see our son suffering with his constantly raw skin. It took me a long time before I was able to accept our situation and things have improved a lot (in how I handle the stress and in my son’s skin). I know they are totally different disorders, but whatever the diagnosis you cannot blame yourself.

  8. First, sending you many hugs at this difficult time. Second, he is not broken, he is perfect. No matter what they say, he is your perfect little man, maybe not in the ways you originally had hoped for but he is still there.
    Kelly recently posted…Pumpkins, Pumpkins Everywhere…My Profile

  9. I wish I had something of substance to say but while reading your post I was just nodding my head. K is very similar to what you described as well. Some days I feel like something isn’t right and other days things seem fine and I am left wondering if there’s something wrong or am I paranoid. I already have the one ADHD kid (as do you, of course) and was really looking forward to some normalcy. I get it.
    Regan recently posted…That Mom with the Child Throwing a TantrumMy Profile

  10. I agree with post on ABA above. I have seen it as a very successful therapy. I worked with a little boy that sounds similar to yours. He was 2 at the time very echolalic, threw tantrums, and wasn’t potty trained. He is now 4 completely verbal, very smart kid & his tantrums are rare & are easily deescalated. We potty trained him using the Foxx & Azrin method and it was amazing. I will train my own kid using this method. Don’t see it as a disability, but his personality. Of all the kids I know I can’t see it as anything wrong with them it’s just who they are & make my life better.

    • In my better days, I have the philosophy of “a diagnosis doesn’t matter because he’s still who he is.” Last night, however, was not a better day. My son will be four in March. Hopefully he’ll get caught up soon. He does speak, but he can’t really hold conversations or tell anything about how his day has been. He just makes observations.

  11. 1 year ago, I could have written this. It’s completely normal to feel exactly how you’re feeling. My son is autistic, and at first I felt the way you do. Over the past year, however, I have come to accept that he is a little different, but he is still perfect in every way, and by no means broken. He is high-functioning, so most people don’t even realize he is different at first. He has epic meltdowns, sensory issues, and self-stimulates. He is also in his first year of kindergarten and doing fantastic-he is at the top of his class (French immersion!), he has a few friends, and he is slowly improving his fine motor skills, just to name a few strides he has made. I just want you to know that an autism diagnosis isn’t a sentence to a life of misery. It’s hard, no doubt about it, but it can be so rewarding as well. It takes a while to process. I still have days that I cry and rage that it just isn’t fair. I wouldn’t trade my little guy for anything, though!

  12. Don’t be afraid mama, I know that this is a tough time because you want to know what is wrong with your son’s behavior issues. I think once you find a diagnosis, you will be able to learn how to deal with him better. Remember you will never be give more than you can handle, it takes special parents to deal with special needs children.
    Christy Garrett @ Uplifting Families recently posted…Blogger Opportunities – $500 Cash Giveaway (3 Winners)My Profile

  13. I don’t know what to say. I don’t have any “wise” words. But, here’s a {{{HUG}}}.
    Sarah Jane recently posted…Mama’s Got a New Look {#mamasnewlook}My Profile

  14. Daniele C. says:

    Wow– you have a LOT of inaccurate information on what autism and the spectrum of autism disorders is all about. The fact that you are already considering an autistic child to be “broken” is heart-breaking for you and your child– as well as being offensive to those of use who have loved ones who are autistic and/or on the spectrum.

    Get your child assessed. IF your child has a form of autism– which is more typically linked with extremely intelligent children, not those with low IQs– then your child needs help and support. There are so many improvements to be made that will allow your child to function at his highest level, which will no doubt be significantly higher than you are fearing. My nephew had early intervention and went from being nonverbal and non-interactive with everyone to being a very loquacious and affectionate little boy.

    And Google the poem “Welcome to Holland.” It very perfectly captures the feelings of a parent who learns that their child is different– not worse, not abnormal– just not what the parents were expecting.

    Autism is NOT a social death sentence. It’s not Rain Man. It’s so much more complex. And so much more wonderful than you can possibly expect at this point. And you don’t even know if that is what your child has. Take a deep breathe, Mama. It can be Holland, not Hell.

    • I’m not completely blind… I know that it can be a broad spectrum, but my sole experience with ASD is with a profoundly autistic child with a host of other issues in addition to it. I hope it’s Holland. I’m glad that it’s extremely intelligent children. (I didn’t just pull it out of my rear; it was something that I’d read yesterday that generated more sobbing.)

      He will most definitely be assessed just because we can’t continue on this way. It’s not good for anyone.

  15. Tamara D. says:

    I agree with checking into food sensitivities… Many children with these kind of symptoms are greatly helped by gluten-free, dairy-free diets. And also agree that having autism does not equal unintelligent. I can appreciate the worry and stress you must feel though – It is difficult to imagine a life that is different from the “normal” that every parent expects. I am sure you will find what you need to do to help your son and hope you find excellent support from caring people along the way 🙂

  16. “He just makes observations.” Maybe he’ll be a great researcher!
    Heather Johnson recently posted…‘Duck & Goose’ Book ReviewMy Profile

  17. abedabun dawn says:

    I want to tell you to calm down just a bit but I have never been in your shoes. But I will say that my cousins son is autistic. Dx. when he was 4. I can remember her saying, I am not going to stress over this, I am going to accept it and deal with it. It was difficult for her some days (I know this because I was her shoulder to lean on). I can not say he was a slow learner because I believe he was not, he just had a hard time expressing himself. My cousin always seemed to buy him very simple toys. She never fed him processed foods but she made him lots of veggie drinks which he loves. I wish I knew everything she done so I could pass that info. on to you. Today, he is 19 yrs old and working at the shipyard.. In his job, he does the same thing over and over all day long, but it works for him and he loves it. His dad takes him to and from work, perhaps because they do not trust him to drive (or maybe he cant drive). I do know that they let him drive on the farm as long as mom or dad are with him. Hold your chin up and have faith. With loving parents and lots of encouragement and patience, he should be ok. Never give up on him nor yourself.

  18. Don’t listen to the fear-mongering spread by those like Autism Speaks. We aren’t monsters who destroy our families, stay locked away from others, and become abysses of need.
    Autistics come like the rainbow of humanity, we just have our own shades. I was diagnosed as an adult, and thus didn’t get the early help and understanding that is available now. But I live and love and am loved, even as life has its challenges. We all have challenges.
    Love your son, and help him deal with the downs while celebrating the ups. Yes, there are and will be ups. Sometimes they hide behind the challenges and differences, but they’ll always be there to find.

    • One place I didn’t go is there because I understand that their views are not ones that are supported by the ASD community at large. We do have ups daily… but, as noted, I wrote that post while reading some of the most frightening things ever while trying to find info. I do know that folks who have, say, Asperger’s, do quite well. I’m dealing with fear of the unknown… and currently, lack of sleep. It’s not lack of love, but the fear and confusion of being completely out of my depth.

      This isn’t something that I can just “fix” with the right research, etc.

  19. I have a friend who went through the same thing with her daughter, but now that she is older and in school she has improved a ton. But I remember when she was younger, my friend had a lot of trouble with her. Keep your head up. Join some autism awareness groups. Chat with other moms who are in your situation.
    Zulema A Tomlinson recently posted…Daddy N Company PJ Giveaway begins 2/2/14My Profile

  20. Wow, I really appreciate you Suzi and your candid post. However, and I am seriously sad when reading this post. Honestly an Autism diagnosis will never change your son. He is going to be exactly who he is going to be, no matter what ‘tag’ he gets. The diagnosis would simply help you treat the behaviours you don’t want to see. A diagnosis will not indicate brokenness, but will help you ‘fix’ issues. My son is not broken. He is perfect and whole and amazing. Getting the diagnosis helped us financially so we can provide support to him and make his life easier, as that is what it is all about.

    I truly hope that you be able to look back the label and see the fact that it will not hurt your son, only improve his life. PM me if you want some resources.
    Cat @ TOTS recently posted…DSLR Photography 101 – Be Aware of the Whole Picture. Composition.My Profile

    • In my more reasonable moments, I’ve said the exact same thing: a label doesn’t matter because it’s not going to change who he is. However, whenever a post begins with the writer admitting that she’s sobbing when she writes is not in the best frame of mind. 🙁

      It’s scary, particularly for someone who is used to being able to research and figure out how to solve problems. Some things can’t be researched and solved away. You know? The best that can be done is learn to cope with it and make adjustments for it.

  21. Daniele, thanks for saying what you did. Well worded. My son will be an amazing man one day, and is an amazing boy. It is certainly not hell, its heaven.
    Cat @ TOTS recently posted…Best Free Valentine’s Day FontsMy Profile

  22. Tila Pelletier says:

    Big hugs hon. It is so scary and of course you will be stressed and worried. Our daughter has autism and we are on the journey. It is bumpy and it is not what we thought our life would be like but there will be joy in your future if your son does get a diagnosis.

    The diagnosis will get him services he needs. There is a lot of choice out there. ABA is the common route but there are other therapies that work on development and engagement. You might want to consider a private diagnosis b/c the answers will come faster. You can use your private insurance in a lot of cases.

    First and foremest – find someone who can talk to you who has been on the journey. Not sure where you live but a great support network makes all the difference. In Richmond there is that RAPS group, and other cities have support groups as well.

    Don’t discount Autism Speaks. I know there is controversy, but look at their first 100 day tool kit. It absolutely explains things in a fair way and give great strategies for getting your therapy and personal life in order. You can ignore their advocacy and decide not to support them financially, but the have great resources that you could really use.

    I think you might be able to see my email. If you can and you want to chat, drop me a line. I was where you were at and I came through and so will you.

    By putting yourself out there on this blog, you are going to get TONS of advice and come of it conflicting. Even I have given you advice. Take what you need and leave the rest. Do what works for your family. You are the mama.

    Again – big hugs. You are NOT ALONE and there are lots of people to help. You will find friends and community, even without a diagnosis.

    Best of luck

    • Thank you so much for your kind words. We’re having some good days. It’s just a matter of figuring out how to manage.

  23. Hi, I think I know what you mean, lucky for us autism doesn’t necessarily mean lower IQ, it means different wiring in the brain so they can score very low on some tests and be a genius in another one. Well, I have good news for you: your son is not broken, your son might be amazingly smart, you’ll just need to work really hard to help him thrive but love is what makes the difference in autism and in everything.
    Do some research in Jacob Barnett, that sweet genius boy will show you the power of autism.
    I know it feels like the end if the world, believe me, it’s not, it’s just the beginning of a different perspective on your life and if you embrace it it will change it and you’ll be grateful for it.

  24. Suzi my heart broke for you when I read your post laying out your raw feelings for everyone to see. I can’t say I know what you’re going through because I’ve not been there but I can say there will be good days and bad days I’m sure. It is a process as with anything else and you are grieving which is very normal although painful. Hugs to you and your sweet family.
    Tammy Northrup recently posted…Low-Carb Salmon Croquettes #SundaySupperMy Profile

  25. Oh honey.. can’t read this and not reply. I really do recognise your feelings, as I have a son with autism and have been through all different emotions over the few years we have had him. At first before diagnosis but wondering whether there could be “something” – thinking about Autism was scary if i let myself think so far ahead about whether he would have difficulties as an adult, or what difficulties he could end up facing. Now, I don’t think about that so much and just take things as they come. My son is 4 now and he does have difficulties but his progress is great. Getting a diagnosis helped with us, as it opens the door to so many therapies and support, which all helps them to learn and reach their potential. Autism feels scary when you don’t know so much about it, but your child is your child and a diagnosis will not change him at all – only enable him to access more support that he may need, and then sooner or later Autism doesn’t feel so much like a big deal, it can just become another normal.
    Good luck with everything
    anna recently posted…Playroom IdeasMy Profile

  26. Teresa Cavanaugh says:

    When Bear was little I was told he had “autistic tendencies”, nowadays he would fall within the spectrum and get an autism diagnosis. He is now the assistant manager of a popular restaurant. My grandson is autistic and obviously very smart. I don’t worry about his future because I know that with the appropriate help he will be fine. So will Norton. If you need to talk, give me a call.

  27. I’m so sorry, what a tough situation. Good luck with testing and what you find out. And please remember, no matter what the diagnosis, he is your son, and he is not broken. You will figure out a way to navigate life with whatever your normal may be.
    Meegs recently posted…37 days until springMy Profile

  28. A very good friend of mine is on the autism spectrum. Aspergers specifically. Struggles with social situations.Panics when someone is crying because for the life of him he cant figure out if they are sad angry or hurt. Has awkward conversations with people and cant figure out that they are trying to change the subject. Has aversions to certain fabrics.

    Ges a brilliant painter. Loves camping and kayaking. Rides a unicycle. Is lean and moderately fit. Enjoys computers and freeform games like minecraft. Hes SMART. He is a man full of factual information. He even recently took up knitting. He makes a gag gift every Christmas for my husband of jars of peanut butter because he knows its his favourite.

    Your son will always be your son and he will be brilliant. It just needs harnessing. My friend would not be where he is now without his parents hard work.

  29. There seems to be so much autism going around these days. It’s just weird because they can’t seem to figure out what is causing it. There is so much hope for autistic kids these days so don’t give up. Everything will be okay.
    Mary W. recently posted…Final Slide Section Installed at Ihu’s Breakaway Falls at Aquatica, SeaWorld’s Waterpark™My Profile

  30. I gotta admit, as a special education para I was a bit disturbed by the title of this post because of the “broken” word. I can certainly see where your pain and your frustration comes from though. Every parent wants the best for their kids. I can respect your fear of the unknown right now. I do want to assure you- no matter what level of the spectrum your son falls on (if he even does) he will never be “broken” even on the bad days. I work with a severely autistic child one on one. And even on her worst days she is still a blessing to work with. All the kids in her class are kind to her and help her. They treat her as if she is one of them. But even those bad days are triumphed by the “don’t be silly”‘s and the “nope, wrong answer” or the “April foo’s” for 20 days in a row type of days. I hope things are getting better for you and that things are getting figured out!
    Kandi recently posted…#SandhillCrane Watching- End of the MigrationMy Profile

  31. I had to quickly read through this to keep myself from crying! I know this feeling! I have three children 9,7,5… My oldest was diagnosed with Benign Rolandic Epilepsy which is childhood seizure disorder when he was 20 months old… 19 months and 2 weeks after I saw his first seizure, 3 months after my 2nd child was born and right in the midst of her dealing with acid reflux and not being the friendliest of babies.
    With my oldest, he was my first pregnancy, I worked in childcare and stuck to a strict diet and we exercised everyday. I slept right when home, i never drank caffeine or ate sweets. I had waited my whole life to be a mother, that was my dream. I read all the books, kept my house clean. Seemingly doing everything perfect.

    12/29/06 3 months to the day of 2nd child being born and only 4 days shy of him being 20 months old we were hospitalized for 3 days with him having seizures and it continued 3 days out of the hospital. He has now been on multiple medications and is on watch for Tuberous Sclerosis Complex which can cause tumors on the major organs of the body and also has Chiari Malformation Type II (cerebellum in the base of his brain that protects the brain and spine from being crushed by the surrounding bones is swollen). He is also on watch for Autism due to these other disorders, because NO Autism isn’t something you are always BORN with.
    We have gone through multiple studies, multiple hospital visits, multiple sleepless nights, rotting teeth, hair falling out, eczema issues and insomnia… Over the last 9 years I have studied everything possible and I have seen all the changes in the info presented for his conditions and how the practice has advanced. I am a single mom of now 3 children… My youngest son, 5, has been showing signs of seizures and has migranes…. He was not officially diagnosed but based on his 3 EEGS which were abnormal he is on a 1 year trial to pray I see no more seizures and then we can start withdrawing him from it. I got word of this March 13th, during the week of him being sick and just before spring break! It made my heart sink! He has anger issues from his migranes and he was wetting the bed a lot which was another sign… We found out B2/riboflavin helps with migranes and we have added it in our diet any way we can.
    Through lots of trial and error we found out red dye is a no no for my oldest. We have learned a lot from our note taking on their behaviors and it has been frustrating but I have also learned that there are some days I just cant make the best meal even though it would best benefit my kids to do so. I can’t keep a spotless house like my OCD yells at me to do. and it’s ok… I have started marinating meats and freezing them based on the serving sizes we need… I chop up fruits and veggies for daily snacks 2-3 days in advance. Pre-cutting and doing even the smallest prep in your daily routines as you can like setting out clothes the night before or even a few nights at a time, giving certain kids special things in their foods that might be pricier than you wanna pay but it helps. You learn tricks along the way, keep notes which dont have to be formal really helps. I use http://www.kidzone.ws for alot of my activity help with my kids and they have a chore chart which you can also use for meals etc.

    I’m not telling you this to put fear in you but to know that you are not alone, it is a struggle, but reach out to others who are in your boat, listen to ALL suggestions and TRY them, if it doesn’t work you know you tried and one less thing to think about. But know that all opinions don’t count, it may seem like people pry and judge but its a misunderstanding to a lot of people because there are somethings that you just dont get until you are in it. Don’t let what others do or don’t do bring you down! There is nothing more you can do than being a good mom to your kids and what I always try to remember is there is always someone bigger, better, stronger, faster, prettier, healthier, less healthy, more acne, less acne, bigger, smaller, shorter, taller, less money, more money etc than me! That’s there life, this is mine! Accept who you are, where you are and the situations of your family and it gets SO MUCH EASIER. It is what it is and when you accept it and put all your dedication into the solution instead of focusing on the problem of the situation things feel less dramatic and heartbreaking!

    I will be praying for you!!

    • Thanks. As time goes on, I’m more and more certain that he’s not on the spectrum… but I’m also increasingly certain that something isn’t right.

  32. Suzi, have you had Norton to the Dr’s since the increase in behaviours? Working in Long Term Care with senior’s with dementia, most who couldn’t properly verbalize, changes in behaviour werwe often caused by UTI’s or other infections. Some blood work and urinalysis may be needed to rule out something physiological. Just wanted to put that out there especially if Autism is looking less likely. Good luck, I know its stressful when you suspect that there are barriers to the life we want and dream for our children (though early at 3 years, I’m a little worried that my son may have ADHD – we do have a family history of it in my family, so kind of watch for it- and its so hard figuring out what is normal, what will be grown out of etc) Hugs!!

  33. Lara Clinton says:

    Thanks for being honest. The way you feel is a lot like some people who are very close to me going through the same things. There are so many unknowns with having kids — I have really close friends who are in their early twenties whose first child has Down Syndrome and took them totally by surprise. I feel that letting yourself feel the emotions that come with the struggles that you face will help in the long run as long as you find a safe place to get support from others who are going through similar things. I hope things go well!

Trackbacks

  1. […] lie.  When I wrote the post on Norton’s suspected autism last week, I had hit rock bottom.  I was sobbing.  I was overwhelmed.  It felt like everything […]

  2. […] cleaned it up.  I was not remotely happy.  This is not even a little bit okay, regardless whatever issues he may […]

  3. […] still awaiting the assessment for autism screening, but at this point, I’m quite confident that my son is not, in fact, on the autism spectrum […]

Speak Your Mind

*

CommentLuv badge