Beauty and the Beast Brings Sadness

My littles love Beauty and the Beast.  It’s not really a surprise; it’s a wonderful animation in a musical format.  It’s the same reason that my kids love Frozen.  But my kids watching Beauty and the Beast just breaks my heart.

Eudora is now at the stage where she’s starting to repeat things.  Norton is starting to discuss the things that he sees.  Belle calls her father Papa.

Beauty and the Beast Breaks My Heart - Cloth Diaper AddictsHearing Eudora calling out “Papa!” in her precious, sweet little voice hurts.  When it’s followed by Norton saying “Oh, no!  Where’s Papa?” it can be almost unbearable.

My father was called Papa by the grandkids.  My father passed before Norton and Eudora were born.  It’s been eight years; I’ve certainly had time to adjust.  I can’t help but feel stupid that I’m so bothered by a little thing… but it just brings back how much I miss my parents.  Even though I know that it wouldn’t be the grand relationship that Andy had with them because I’m so far away.  Even though I know that there would be a ridiculous amount of guilt tripping because I’m “keeping the babies away” because I live in British Columbia and they would still live in Florida.

The simple reality is that even though I know how things would be if my parents were still living, I can’t help but wish that Eudora would get to run up to her Papa and say “Uh!” for him to sweep her up in his arms.  I can’t help but wonder if Norton would enjoy going fishing with Papa as much as I did when I was a little girl.

Rather than a beautiful animation of a classic fairy tale, when my children watch Beauty and the Beast, I am reminded of the absence of someone important.  Even still, though, I don’t prevent them from watching it.  It’s been eight years.  Maybe I need to take a lesson from Elsa and just Let it Go.

Me with my dad after a day of hard work, circa 1984

Me with my dad after a day of hard work, circa 1984

About Suzi

Suzi is an American ex-pat living in British Columbia. She's a cloth diaper addict, wife, mom of three, and President of the Prince George chapter of Cloth for a Cause.

Comments

  1. So sorry for your loss! I know how hard that can be. You don’t ever have to let it go – he will always be so special and always in your heart! <3 I know you will see him again and your cute kids will be able to run into his arms and call him Papa!
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  2. Don’t let it go until you are ready no matter how long that is! XO
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