Question to Never Ask a Pregnant Woman

Everyone has to know that there are some things you just don’t ask.  There are places that you just don’t go.  However, it seems that with pregnancy, all bets are off.  People’s brains stop filtering.  That being said, there is one question to never ask a pregnant woman.

“Are ______________ excited?” (Fill in the blank with you, your partner, your parents, your other children, your dog, whatever.)

Question to Never Ask a Pregnant Woman (Cloth Diaper Addicts)What kind of question is that? I mean, seriously, if a person is pregnant and does not want to be pregnant, there are options available. Yes, some of those options are distasteful and even morally objectionable to some people, but those options do exist for a pregnant woman, nonetheless.

I’ve always told my students and my staff that there is no such thing as a stupid question. I’ve always believed that questions exist to clarify and obtain information. But what kind of moron would ask if someone is excited about their baby? Seriously, what do they think a pregnant woman going to say? “No?”

Even if our partner/parents/child/dog/whatever wasn’t excited, why would we tell this person that they’re dreading the impending arrival of our small human? Is it any of their business? In all honesty, if anyone important to you isn’t excited about the small human in your womb, you probably have someone else to talk to about it. And it’s not going to be someone who feels the need to ask!

For the record, my husband and I are cautiously excited. We had a miscarriage a couple of months ago. (There. I typed it. Now if I can actually *say* the word, then that might be considered progress.) I figure in another two weeks, we’ll be over the hump where things started to go wrong last time, and then we’ll be just plain excited.

The rest of my family doesn’t know yet. I haven’t communicated this news to anyone in my life but my medical professionals who need to know these details in order to treat me properly. Even so, I expect that they will all be happy, since they were last time.

But if they weren’t, why would I tell someone who feels the need to ask? If you have to ask, we’re not that close and I wouldn’t tell you anything beyond “everyone is thrilled”, anyway!

Now if only people would learn to think before they ask the same question, over and over and over….

What was the most obnoxious question that people asked you regarding your pregnancy?

Originally written for What to Expect on July 18, 2009.  That pregnancy is now a happy three year old boy.

Pregnant with PCOS – Small Human Construction

So, I’ve been trying with the husband to get pregnant for about a year and a half.

Irony.  I actually had to try to get pregnant.  I managed to get pregnant twice over ten years ago while taking steps to prevent it.  😛  Apparently, I have PCOS, which would imply that I’ve always had PCOS, so it’s very odd that getting pregnant is only a problem in the last year and a half.

We had a pregnancy that didn’t work out.  (“Didn’t work out” is my euphemism for the obvious.  I can’t bring myself to even type it, let alone say it.)

Here we are, two months later with a positive.

I’m trying to be optimistic.  But I’m trying to not get my hopes up.

It’s all positively ridiculous.

Originally posted at WTE July 13, 2009.  That pregnancy did work out and is three years old.

Confirming Pregnancy – Off to the Doctor’s!

I’m a housewife. I don’t have any children living with me. So, I don’t really leave the house very often. I’m a home body. I have no real reason to go out usually, and when I typically do go out, my husband goes with me. We have joint appointments with the doctor today. I schedule it like this so that I know that I’ll ask any pertinent questions regarding my husband’s health. Our appointments are for making sure his respiratory infection is all good and for confirming pregnancy.

Confirming Pregnancy (Cloth Diaper Addicts)Having done this a few months ago, I expect that my doctor will do the following: tell me my due date, tell me to quit smoking (even though I quit six months ago and have told him repeatedly that I have quit), tell me to take prenatal vitamins, tell me no drugs but Tylenol, and then tell me that it’s really too soon to do anything, so I should come back in a few weeks.

He’ll also give me a lab requisition to have a blood draw for confirming pregnancy.

Then we’re probably going to have an argument. I’m going to insist on continuing with my Metformin, as last time I stopped taking it (because he, his co-doctor and wife, and my OB/Gyn told me to discontinue the medication, in spite of evidence indicating that the drug should be continued through pregnancy), I stopped being pregnant. I’m going to insist that my progesterone levels and my betaHCG levels are monitored.

In the end, he’ll give in and do these things, because he realizes that it is easier to give in to my requests than to argue with me.

But YAY! I get to go in today. I’m oddly excited about confirming pregnancy, even though I already know what’s going to happen.

Originally written on July 15, 2009 for What to Expect. Confirming pregnancy went pretty much as expected… except I didn’t get an argument about discontinuing Metformin and I was referred to an OB/Gyn right away.

Baby Stuff Obsession

I’m not due until March 22. I haven’t even had my first appointment. (That comes tomorrow.)  And what am I doing? Pouring over ConsumerReports.org baby stuff reviews. Whenever another expecting mom asks about a product or a specific brand, the first thing I do is run to ConsumerReports.org and see what they have to say about it.

Baby Stuff Obsession (Cloth Diaper Addicts)It’s not like I’m ignorant about baby stuff. I’ve used it all before when I had my son in 1997. (Yeah, okay, 1997 was a long time ago. That’s beside the point.) I sold baby stuff when I was a sales manager at an upscale department store, so I *had* to know what I was talking about in order to sell it, and sell it properly. After all, I wanted people to have the right stuff, not just any stuff that I could sell.

Even though my husband will not even entertain the notion of buying anything for about two more months, I’m still researching obsessively. It’s not like ConsumerReports is going to go away in the next couple of months. It’s not like I don’t already have a good idea of what I want based on previous experience, both as a parent and a salesman. It’s not like there’s a final exam or like I’m working on a dissertation.

And, seriously, it’s not like the world will end if I get the second top-rated stroller instead of the first. Sheesh. But I still keep a ConsumerReports tab in my browser, just in case.

Did you go nuts over baby stuff during early pregnancy?

Originally written for What to Expect on July 14, 2009.

Update: I figured it all out eventually. Some of the choices I made were brilliant. Others? Not so much.

Image by Sundesigns