Mother’s Voice – How Do You Sound?

Mother's Voice - How Do You Sound? (Motherhood Looms)

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici / 

A mother’s voice can be many things.  It can be a loving sound that encourages.  It can be happy.  Or it can be… something else.

I never really gave much consideration to the sound of my voice.  It’s just mine, and it took me a while to be okay with the sound of my actual voice not sounding like my voice sounds in my head.  Still, though, I didn’t think it was an all too terrible sound.  Sure, it conveys when I’m happy or when I’m frustrated.  I had a rude awakening, though, about the reality of this mother’s voice.

Norton tends to play with my iPhone, even when it’s locked.  He can’t get into anything since it’s password protected, but he can make videos and take pictures.  I went through my phone to clean out the junk pictures he takes and I watched a video he made.

It didn’t last long.  It was around 15 seconds, and it wasn’t something that one could even watch.  The camera wasn’t remotely steady.  It shook as he climbed around on the couch.  It waved wildly.  Really, more than two seconds of it started making me feel queasy from the camera’s motions.  But I could hear it.

I heard the sound of a mother’s voice.  It was an irritated mother’s voice.  There was the sound of the voice yelling at the dog over having a mysterious brown lump in front of him.  Then there was yelling at the toddler for producing that stinky brown lump in the middle of the kitchen floor.  It was just awful.

Being there in the moment was pretty terrible, but hearing how I sounded after the fact was maybe even a little worse.

That voice was a horrible, nasty, nagging sound.  It wasn’t just a mother’s voice.  It was this mother’s voice, and I didn’t like how it sounded.  I didn’t like that the voice was directed at my children.

There have been times that I’ve realized in the past that I needed to watch my temper.  I’ve gotten better about a lot of things.  While my “fight or flight” reflexes still lean strongly towards flight, spankings are something that don’t happen in my house.  Not anymore.  I’ve gotten control of that.  However, I still have to conquer that voice.  I want my children to remember the sound of their mother’s voice being a nice sound, a loving sound.  I don’t want them to remember the screaming, shrewish, biting sound as their mother’s voice.

Have you struggled with keeping your voice calm?  What kind of mother’s voice do your children hear?