Bitter Divorce and Remembering What Was

I’ve never been divorced.  My parents were happily married, until death did they part.  My in-laws are still married.  I’ve never had any direct experience with a bitter divorce.  I’ve only seen it from the outside as I watch former classmates decide that it’s time to part ways after fifteen or more years.

Sometimes, I see that my friends have had what’s far from a bitter divorce.  Some have joked that their divorces have been better than their marriages.  But others?  I look at them and wonder if they remember what was.

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Attachment Parenting, Divorce, and Mayim Bialik

While I have no personal experience with divorce, I do remember learning from my friends while growing up a simple truth: divorce sucks.*  When you’re famous, divorce can be even worse.  When you’re famous and advocate attachment parenting, then you really get comments from the peanut gallery.

Just because Bialik favors attachment parenting doesn't mean it caused her divorce.

Mayim Bialik, image from Wikipedia

Mayim Bialik has made headlines because she’s getting a divorce.  She’s said point blank that attachment parenting had nothing to do with the divorce.  I figure, hey, it’s her marriage and her divorce.  She should certainly know better than me if co-sleeping or extended breastfeeding caused issues in her marriage.  She’s the one who lives it.

Still, that doesn’t stop the press (or those who oppose attachment parenting for some reason) from speculating.  She mentioned attachment parenting in her divorce announcement.  That must be the real reason!  Why else would she bring it up?

Here’s the deal: I don’t practice attachment parenting.  Sure, I’ve done babywearing and I bottle fed on demand.  However, I can’t even sleep with my kids in the same room, let alone the same bed.  It doesn’t work for me.  That doesn’t, however, mean that attachment parenting is a flawed system or that it’s the cause of someone else’s divorce.

She’s raising her children the way she thinks is appropriate… and I imagine that he was on board with it in some sense.  There are a lot of reasons for marriages to fail.  Just because she advocates a parenting style that isn’t for everyone doesn’t mean that it led directly to their divorce.  Making assumptions about what can be a difficult time for anyone, regardless of how unhappy the marriage may be, serves no one.

All that I can say about her divorce is “Good luck, Dr. Bialik.  Hopefully everything works out well for your family.”  But really, even that’s none of my business.

What are your thoughts on the speculation about Bialik’s divorce?

*No, I’m not advocating staying in an unhappy marriage.  That can suck worse than divorce.