Bleach that Fluff (Green Eggs & Ham Filk)

Frequently, I see some cloth diapering advice floating around that makes me cringe.  Sure, there’s a lot of variables whenever giving out advice.  I’m also a firm believer that there is no One True Way in cloth diapering… and anyone who insists otherwise is either lying or delusional.  Either way, I find that mentality to be bad for the cloth diapering community.

Rather than write a diatribe about how I hate suggestions to just use bleach or suggest that every time you bleach a cloth diaper, a unicorn’s horn falls off, I’m going to tackle it Dr. Seuss style.  I bring you Strip that Fluff.

Fluff that bleach… Bleach that fluff…

Why bleach that fluff?
Why bleach that fluff?
I do not like to bleach that fluff.

Would you bleach it here or there?
I would not bleach them here or there.
I would not bleach them anywhere.

Would you bleach them in a box?
Would you bleach them with your socks?

I would not bleach them in a box.
I would not bleach them with my socks.

I would not bleach them here or there.
I would not bleach them anywhere.

I would not bleach my precious stuff.
I will not ever bleach that fluff.

Would you bleach them for a plague?
Would you bleach for causes vague?

I would not bleach them in a plague.
I would not bleach for causes vague.

I would not bleach them in a box.
I would not bleach them with my socks.

I would not bleach them here or there.
I would not bleach them anywhere.

I would not bleach my precious fluff.
I will not ever bleach that fluff.

Would you bleach them on the run?
Would you bleach them just for fun?

I would not bleach them on the run.
I would not bleach them just for fun.

I would not bleach them in a plague.
I would not bleach for causes vague.

I would not bleach them in a box.
I would not bleach them with my socks.

I would not bleach them here or there.
I would not bleach them anywhere.

I would not bleach my precious fluff.
I will not ever bleach that fluff.

Would you bleach them to be white?
Would you bleach them in the night?

I would not bleach them to be white.
I would not bleach them in the night.

I would not bleach them in a plague.
I would not bleach for causes vague.

I would not bleach them in a box.
I would not bleach them with my socks.

I would not bleach them here or there.
I would not bleach them anywhere.

I would not bleach my precious fluff.
I will not ever bleach that fluff.

Would you bleach them on the run?
Would you bleach them just for fun?

I would not bleach them on the run.
I would not bleach them just for fun.

I would not bleach them in a plague.
I would not bleach for causes vague.

I would not bleach them in a box.
I would not bleach them with my socks.

I would not bleach them here or there.
I would not bleach them anywhere.

I would not bleach my precious fluff.
I will not ever bleach that fluff.

So you will not bleach them, you say?
Try it!  Try it and you may!

If I bleach my whole fluff crop…
If I bleach them will you stop?

*sigh*

Bleach that Fluff - A Fluffy Green Eggs & Ham (Cloth Diaper Addicts)

My diapers are all full of doom!
You really ought to leave the room!

Now I’ve finally bleached my fluff,
I’m all raging, in a huff.

My diapers now have ugly holes.
My diapers are now fit for voles.

My once pristine fluff is now done.
Cloth diapering is no longer fun

I’m feeling really, really sad.
The results are very, very bad.

I wish I’d never bleached my fluff.
Now I’m really in a huff.

I should not have ever bleached my fluff.
I never should have used that stuff.

Okay, so are the results always this dire?  No, of course not.  There are people out there who have used bleach with great results.  However, there are also people who have used bleach and had it eat away at things.  At the end of the day, if you want to bleach your fluff, do it.  It’s your fluff.  It’s your kid’s duff.  But that being said, if you’re going to advise someone else to do it, make sure that you’re also making it clear that the results may not be what you’re hoping for.  And remember, too, that you’re giving advice that can void warranties and ruin diapers.  For a family that cannot afford to replace them if they are ruined, it’s a huge disservice.

Above all, though, remember that there is no One True Way.  Not even when it comes to bleach.

Have you ever used bleach on your fluff?  To what end?

My Favorite (Cloth Diaper) Things

Stuffing my diapers and fluffy bummed babiesMy Favorite (Cloth Diaper) Things - Cloth Diaper Addicts
Bright colored diapers and cute li’l fluffies
New diaper packages tied up with strings
These are a few of my favorite things!

Custom EBB’s, AppleCheeks new prints,
BumGenius, Flip covers, Tots Bots Easy Fits,
Best Bottom covers waiting in the wings
These are a few of my favorite things!

When up all night
When the bum stinks
When I’m feeling sad
I simply remember my fluffiest things
And then I don’t feel so bad!

Image credits: Supakitmod, Free Digital Photos