You’re a Good Mom… and So am I

You’re a good mom.  Really.  The chances are very high that you have your baby’s best interests in mind.  If you breastfeed, you’re a good mom because you’re trying to give your baby the best nourishment that you can.  If you formula feed, you’re a good  mom because you’re trying very hard to make sure your baby is fed in a way that your family can handle. [Read more…]

Being a Good Mom Doesn’t Mean “More Stuff”

Every now and again, I read something about “simplicity parenting.”  When I read it, it seems like such a remarkably wonderful parenting style that I’d love to accomplish.  Abandoning the idea of having the latest and greatest toddler toys for Norton just seems like an absolutely amazing idea.  Divorcing the concept of “more stuff” = “being a good mom” as we start gearing up for the holidays seems amazing and foreign.

Still, though, as much as I can pile on the toys and things for Norton, there’s one thing that I absolutely cannot buy.  And, really, it’s the one thing that I should be focusing on.  I cannot buy him my time and attention.  Really, Norton seems to get the most enjoyment out of us doing stuff together that doesn’t cost a dime.  It costs nothing for us to dance to music.  It costs nothing to sing our own version of Elmo’s World.  (Replace “Elmo” with kid’s name; replace “goldfish” and “crayon” with kid’s favorite things.  We use “loves his mommy… and Pillow, too.”)  When he leads me into singing Elmo’s World, I know that I’m being a good mom by how happy he is.

With Eudora, her needs are simpler since she’s smaller.  Sitting down and playing with her on the floor or cheering her on when she crawls to me are the things that excite her the most.  The smile that lights up her entire tiny face when I correctly interpret what she wants does it, too.

As I get caught up in the “must buy ALL THE TOYS” rush of the holiday season, I really do need to just remember that my kids don’t think that stuff makes me a good mom.  It’s doing things with them that does the trick.

What do you think is part of being a good mom?

You Aren’t a Better Mom than Me

I was reading a book on elimination communication over the weekend.  While reading, the book spoke about things like how parenting decisions like breastfeeding vs. formula, co-sleeping vs. crib sleeping, working vs. stay at home, and a host of other issues can often spark mommy wars.  When you think about the mommy wars, it’s invariably happening for the same reason: we want to feel validated in our parenting decisions.  We want to feel like our parenting decisions are the things that we can look at and say “I’m a better mom because I do x.”

News flash: you’re not a better mom than me.  But I’m not a better mom than you, either.

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Why This Happy Mom Skipped Strong Start

Maybe I’m more of a rebellious mom than a happy mom.  Or maybe I’m a happy mom because I got smart.  Either way you slice it, I skipped out on doing something that I should do.

I might not be setting a great example in doing this.  Maybe it means that I’m really a lazy mom.

You know what?  I don’t care what it means.  All that I know is that I’m glad I did it.  No mommy guilt whatsoever. [Read more…]

Taking the 30 Day Toddler Play Challenge

I always worry about being a good mom.  I worry about toddler language delay and if Norton’s lack of toddler talking is my fault.  I worry that I don’t spend enough time engaging Norton in toddler play, even though I’ve already learned that he has an Own Agenda Communication Style (thanks to reading It Takes Two to Talk).  Really, I just worry and I’m always out to be a better mom.  I know that I’m also my own worst critic.

My big stumbling block is that with Norton’s Own Agenda Communication Style, he’s perfectly happy with keeping himself engaged in toddler play.  He has little interest in playing with me, and when he does, he climbs on me or plays peekaboo with me to let me know.  And so there’s that vicious cycle of wanting to play with Norton, failing or feeling like I’m “doing it wrong”, and the feeling like a flop as a mom.  I always tell myself that I need to do better, but I just don’t know how.

While I was doing my usual blog surfing this morning, I came across a challenge by Hands on as We GrowThe purpose is to get us down on the floor and just playing with our kids.  The 30 Day Hands On Challenge seemed to be exactly what I needed. [Read more…]

A Happy Mom Does Three for Thursday

My friend Evelyn started Three for Thursday months ago, but it’s something that I don’t do a whole lot of the time.  But this time?  I’m a happy mom with the time to do it.  Of course, I’m a happy mom with time to spare because Norton is watching Sesame Street.  But it’s not using the television as a baby-sitter if I’m in the room, right?

1. Three things that have kept me from blogging lately. [Read more…]