What the Internet Has Taught Me About Being a Better Mom

I have fretted about being a better mom.  I have worried that my failings, whether real or imagined, are a mark that I’m just not a good parent.   I’ve blogged about my perfectionism, my struggles, and my hopes that some day I’ll figure out how to be a better mom in my own eyes.

Lately, there have been some things that have helped.  And, honestly, most of them have been from things that I’ve found online.

1.) The Hands On Play Challenge.  I have not participated in this challenge every day.  I’ve written a few blog posts about our toddler play efforts from things that Jamie has sent out, but it’s been pretty hectic and stressful lately.  Here’s what the challenge has made me realize, though.  I do play with my kid.  I don’t think I realized how much time I spend just crawling around the house chasing him or playing peekaboo until I set a timer for fifteen minutes to play with him.  The challenge has also helped me in another way, which is awesome when combined with the next helpful internet resource… [Read more…]

Being a Mom in a Better State of Mind

I feel a bit better now.  I guess I just needed to get all of that worry and frustration out.  I know that it’s not possible to be a perfect parent.  Instead of focusing on all the things that I can’t do, I just need to suck it up and focus on what I can.  It’s not like I can just quit being a mom because I feel like a flop.  And it’s not like I want to quit being a mom, anyway.

I just want to be a better mom.

So that means getting over it.  I have to accept that being a mom doesn’t mean being perfect.

We’re going to cook dinner tonight, Norton and me.  Sure, it’ll be a great big mess.  It might be a really crappy meal since we’re trying an experimental shepherd’s pie recipe.  And since I don’t think I have enough potatoes, we’re going to try making instant mashed potatoes for the topping.

It doesn’t matter if it’s perfect, or even if it’s edible.  We tried.  And maybe the failures along the way are also important to being a better mom.  Maybe it’s important, at least, to being a mom in a better state of mind.

 

Parenting Stress and the Pressure to be a Perfect Parent

I know that there is no such thing as a perfect parent.  I know that every parent has bad days when things go wrong.  But still, that doesn’t help me feel any better.  I feel like I need to be the perfect parent in order to be good enough.

This pressure results in more parenting stress than I need.  And no one in my life is putting this pressure on me.  I do it to myself.

I came home from Strong Start earlier today feeling like a completely inadequate and overwhelmed mom.  In fact, I paused while writing my blog post yesterday to just cry for a while… and spent the rest of the day feeling like a terrible mother.  If I were a better mom, I’d be able to handle Strong Start like a super star.  I wouldn’t have felt like an overwhelmed mom who just wanted to go curl up in a ball and hide in a corner.  If I were a better mom, I’d have been able to do something as simple as toddler time at the library without taking my kid to the hospital. [Read more…]