Repeat Cesarean Recovery and My Breastfeeding Attempt

So, my birth story didn’t go the way it was supposed to.  Our picture perfect plan for a VBAC delivery ended in a repeat cesarean.  A repeat cesarean was clearly not what we’d had planned, but it was the safest thing for Eudora, so I’m okay with that.  I have to say, though, that the initial two hours after my repeat cesarean were extremely different from my c-section with Norton.

With Norton, I recovered in the room with him, even though I was too heavily sedated to actually do anything with him.  With Eudora, I was in the recovery unit where people tend to go after minor surgeries.  I remembered being in there with Andy after he had his first surgery on his hand.  I have to say, I was not blissfully bombed out of my mind after her delivery.

No, far from it.

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Eudora’s Birth Story – The Finale

In my last blog post, I’d left off with the news that our birth story wasn’t going to be the perfect VBAC delivery.  There would be no successful natural child birth through the power of the Hypnobabies Home Study course.  Sure, I was in labor, but it wasn’t exactly going right.  I was coping just fine with the contractions, and I’d managed to stay firm and not take anything for the painful cramping that was continuous between contractions.  But Eudora?  She wasn’t coping so well.  And her health and welfare was the most crucial thing in our birth story.

Eudora was tachycardic.  Her little heart was pounding up to 200 beats per minute.  I’m not sure if the machine registered anything higher than that, but that was it.  That was when the doctors determined that a VBAC delivery would not be the best thing for her.  She wasn’t descending.  She needed to come out.

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Supportive Husband and Pregnancy Stress – Gratitude Project Day 8

This morning, there is absolutely no doubt in my mind that I have reason to be grateful for my wonderful, supportive husband.  I was pretty freaked out and upset about not being able to get a midwife.  I was certain that I was going to end up with a repeat cesarean, whether I want one or not.  And, yeah, there were more than a few tears.  This is one of those times that I was so very grateful for having a supportive husband.  You see, my husband’s first inclination whenever something has me that upset is to fix it.  He loves me.  He wants to make everything better. [Read more…]

Repeat Cesarean and Accepting Defeat

Apparently, my chances of having the VBAC delivery are dwindling.  There are three midwife practices in Prince George.  They are all booked up.  After my craptastic appointment with Dr. T, I have little hope of getting a VBAC delivery from an OB/Gyn.

I really, really didn’t want to be forced into a repeat cesarean.  Not wanting to be forced into a repeat cesarean was one of the biggest reasons that we were looking into using a midwife.  But there’s no chance of using a midwife now.

I’m so, so very disappointed.  I went through a time of crying.  I’m angry.  If Dr. T hadn’t wasted my time with waiting for an appointment with him, perhaps I could have gotten in with a midwife.  But instead, I got screwed.  I’m twelve weeks pregnant and change, and I don’t even have a freaking plan in place for prenatal care.  I feel cheated.

I feel like I have no choice, and I’m going to have to have an unnecessary surgery that I don’t want.

I’m already frustrated with everything being up in the air.  And now I’m just so angry.

Of course, even if Dr. T hadn’t essentially strung me along by making an appointment instead of just saying right off the bat that he wouldn’t be available to deliver, I still wouldn’t have been able to get a midwife.  There are a grand total of three in my city.  And they work in the towns that are within an hour or two of Prince George, too.  So, yeah.  If you don’t call to book with a midwife the second you get that second line, forget it.

My poor husband, of course, has no clue what to do.  He wants to fix it, but there’s really no way to do so.

Hopefully, there will be a doctor in my city that will support my VBAC delivery preference.  If I’m lucky.  I’ll definitely have to give birth in the hospital (and on the bright side, they can’t try to give me pitocin this time around), and I won’t get to have a water birth even though the hospital does have the option available.

Either way, it just seems like my options are being taken away from me.  And the funny thing is, two years ago, these options never even interested me.  Go figure.  So what’s changed?  Why is this something important to me now?

Graphic Images Make VBAC Delivery a Little Scary

I’d been thinking about attempting a VBAC delivery. Actually, no, we’d decided that a VBAC delivery was going to happen. I was torn between having a repeat c-section to avoid the trauma of birth (my first childbirth was just horrible) and going for VBAC delivery to avoid the healing time of major abdominal surgery. My husband’s desire to see his child come into the world instead of being behind a screen while a surgeon lifted our child out of my womb was the thing that put me in favor of trying a vaginal birth after c-section.

I’ve been reading Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth. It’s supposed to be a wonderful book that’s empowering, educational, and encourages women to make their own birthing decisions rather than be bullied by medical establishment into doing things that are not necessarily in our best interests. (I mean, really, it would be nice if all doctors made decisions based on the welfare of the patient rather than concern about malpractice suits. But they don’t always, and I can’t blame them for wanting to protect themselves in an overly litigious society while they try to help someone else.)

There’s one thing that I wasn’t anticipating: pictures. [Read more…]